Merry Christmas from Disney!

Hey all. Since I didn't send out any cards this year, Merry Christmas everyone. I'm still at Disney until the end of the week. We've already done 3 parks in 2 days, and I'm beat. I'll try to get some pics up and a summary once I get back home. In the meantime, everyone enjoy your Christmas (or, whatever you celebrate).



l8rs.

Halo 3 news!

I'm watching Attack of the Show earlier this evening and I hear, "... plus more on the new Halo trailer released last night...". WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Yeah, that's what I get for enthralling myself in FFX-2 for the last couple of weeks. I immediately power up the Xbox and start searching. 5 minutes later, W00+! Download finished! It's a 7 minute behind-the-scenes on the new Brutes you'll be fighting. Ergh... I'm drooling again.... Damn marketing. They're always good for wetting your appetite some more. And I was just finally starting to sleep at night without suffering from withdrawal fits, too. You guys suck! I guess I now know where all the drug pushers go to work after they finish their jail sentences. ;)

While I'm in the Video Marketplace, I see there's another video for DOAX2. Heheh... I'm sad. I guess I'll be picking this game up, too, even tho it's nothing more than an interactive video with just shy of a XXX rating. "It's all just smut!", as my grandmother would have pronounced. I'm must say, however, that I'm curious to see just HOW much jiggle is possible with the next-gen hardware. From the promos I've seen so far, it looks like Team Ninja spent a hell of a lot of time perfecting the antigravity principals of "jello physics". Also, something I'm sure everyone asks, but refuses to admit it: These chicks are bad-ass fighters, right? Then why are they prancing around like London proper prisses on their first vacation away from home? There, I said it. Now I can go back to watching my pr0n'd promos. ;)

BTW, Amber: you suck. I'm now hooked on the Doctor. I don't NEED any more TV shows to watch! Maybe I should call Santa and tell him to change my Christmas present from paying my bills to a Tivo instead.



l8rs.

Stuck at work.

Yes, on a Sunday. Orignally it was supposed to be a quick in, check the chillers (A/C is out in one of the buildings for the weekend), re-install a server, and quick out. Hour and a half, max. Well, of course with my luck, the server happens to need a driver for the RAID card that's not included with the RHEL 4 Update 4 install, and the partitions are 2TB each (4 of them) which takes a good 20-30 minutes each to format. So I've been sitting in this frigid-ass server room waiting on the damn thing to finish, for the last 3 hours. Normally, I'd start the install and finish it up from home; but, I don't know if it's gonna reboot correctly since it needs a non-included driver. It didn't work the first time around (which is why I'm still here).

Oh. Sounds like I just heard the reboot beep. Need to go check on it. Hopefully, it'll work this time.

I'll have another post when I get home. I've got something hilarious about FFX-2 that I just HAVE to post. ;)



l8rs.

old post... delayed due to site issues

(NOTE: this was originally supposed to be posted 12/12/06)

Dammit, I hate that the freakin MySpace site is not friendly to us non-M$ browser users. I keep trying to delete an email and * BAM! *, it crashes. And, of course be it my luck, Blogger is having shitfits. What a way to close out an even more frustrating and headache-filled day at work. I hate bringing a new building online. No one ever thinks to include the computer support team in their planning, so everything ends up last minute. Then they wonder why crap don't work. Duh! Give us more of a heads up and time to plan, dickweeds.

There... I feel better now. Well, no... not really.

I was going over my "Christmas presents to me" list over the weekend. You know, the ones you end up buying yourself either for the fact that those who do get you presents have no idea why you obsess over that sort of crap, or for the fact that you just feel like treating yourself. Final Fantasy XII is at the top of that list. To get myself hyped up for it, I started playing FFX-2 this weekend. Even tho, I've yet to finish FFX (don't feel like wandering around to build up my characters to be strong enuff to take on Sin), I figured it was about time to start considering I bought it around a year ago. I'm a big fan of RPGs, and the Final Fantasy series in general, but I now understand why it was titled "X-2". Frankly, I'm a bit dissappointed. It's basically a re-hash of the previous game (same environments and world), with half the storyline. You play 2 of chicks from X (Yuna and Rikku) plus a new character, Paine. No adding of party members as the game progresses (at least being 16% done, this is what I've noticed). Ur hunting spheres, and you happen across this one that looks like Titus might still be around.
*** SPOILER WARNING *** Don't read the next line if you don't wanna know how FFX ends.
(In case you haven't figured it out, Titus doesn't come out squeaky clean from the previous game. I'm not quite sure how, but I've seen enuff of the FMV's from the game and on the net plus read enuff about the series to realize.)
*** END SPOILER ***
But, that's it. For such an over-marketed series, this seems like kind of a lame attempt at something like Dead or Alive Extreme Vollyball (even tho this came out first). Well, they did remove all references to mana and the mana-sphere system for this version. Oh, it's totally fscked up. This whole "dressphere" thing, and the un-cancelable FMV of this magical girl type wardrobe change everytime you switch "roles", is just wrong... and annoying... especially since I've been changing roles 2-3 times PER BATTLE. I guess it's all about the otaku "fan service", which I've never understood, really. That could be good; it means I'm not a true otaku (<-- See the "English/Internationally" section). :D

Well, time to prep for the Season Finale of Nip Tuck, and my battery is dying.



l8rs.

(I finished Gears on "Casual", BTW. Can't remember if I've posted that or not.)

In the news.

I'm not one to regularly watch or read the news, but I happened be be trolling thru my feed reader (yes, I finally started using one) and ran across some interesting/funny articles in Slashdot:

Best Buy Institutes Flex Time

Looks like the rest of the world is following Google's example in work hours. Hey, maybe my lack of ability to stick to my work schedule won't be such a bad thing in the near future. ;)

MySpace, U.S. Address Sex Offenders Online

Looks like it's becoming more and more difficult to be a registered sex offender. Well, in the south, especially. I have an acquaintance in this situation. Don't get me wrong, this is a good idea, but, now all they need to do is re-evaluate the conviction laws that define a true "sex offender". All I'm gonna say is: sucks to be convicted; so much for integrating back into society. Let's hope that these sorts of additional restrictions don't cause more released offenders to not register (if I understand correctly, the judicial system's way of tracking registrations is a bit lax).

Sony, Nintendo Announce 'Fixes' For Their Consoles

HA! I knew there was a good reason to avoid getting a PS3 for a couple of years. Sony is definately targeting the financially elite with the 3rd revision of its ever-popular console line. I'll give Nintendo some major props with their Wii, however (other than the name, that is). They've targeted a whole new generation of possible game players. Once the console wars are over this Christmas, and I'm no longer suffering from spastic fits waiting on the release of Halo 3, I'll probably look into getting one. Especially if they are sticking to their original marketing from E3 '05 of being able to download the ENTIRE Nintendo library (for a price, I'm sure). I can see it now... Super Mario Bros. on the big-screen. W00+!! :)


Speaking of games, I finished up the last of the "Casual" storyline in Gears last night. Funny thing is, I was trying to detail my last battle with General Ramm to my co-worker over lunch, and he just kept giving me that, "uh, huh" deer in the headlights look. LOL.

I'm almost fully on my way to migrating to using nothing but Fedora Core 6. Tasks left to do:

• Get Evolution to sync with work's calendaring/email server and my iPAQ (Pocket PC 2003). It's not cooperating, so far.
• Manage my phone numbers, pictures, and ringtones thru the laptop (I found 'moto4lin' that might do this)
• Wait on Adobe Flash to stabilize.

Then there's the soon to be released Red Hat Enterprise 5 to test. This is getting crazy. Otherwise, I'll have to break down and go back to Vista (oh, the drama). I'm hoping I can get all this to work just to prove to my co-worker (the one from lunch) that Linux CAN do anything Windows can. Yeah, he's one of THOSE admins. :)

Awite, Smallville is over and Gray's is about to start. Aw, crap.... It's a re-run. Guess I'll play some games, cause I'll be scripting all weekend.



l8rs.

Cents and sensbility... and mutilations.

Of course, my original intention of getting online was to pay bills and balance my checkbook. But, as we all know, I hate doing that as all it does is remind me of how much I overspend my balance each month. I just hate dealing with money... period. Don't get me wrong; it would be awesome if I actually had enough where I didn't have to worry.

So, what am I doing instead? I just couldn't pass on this:

Death by Destuffing

I get the spoiled one a new toy while I was at the grocery store earlier tonight, and what does she do? It only took her 10 minutes to get the squeaker this time. Good thing it just cost $3 instead of the usual $5. Kids.... :p~

Ok. Gonna go do the bills. OH! Damm! Almost forgot.... One Tree Hill, did you see it!? Like, OMFG!! What a cliffhanger! LOL. Good thing there's another one next week. Awite, gonna go now.



l8rs.

Back to reality... er... virtuality.

Woah, it's good to be back. You guys probably thought I dropped off the face of the earth over the last couple of weeks. No, a dial-up internet access will do that to you. I love my parents, but I wish they'd quit complaining about the price and just go ahead and get high-speed internet.

Wow. There's a lot to catch up on. I haven't left you all with anything to ponder for a couple of weeks.

This is overdue. It just wasn't worth the hassle of waiting for everything to load over a dial-up connection. Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for a loving, forgiving, and supportive close family. I'm also thankful for good friends, both virtual and non. You guys rock! As you can guess, I went back "home" for the holidays. It's funny. I've been living in Atl for, what, around 10 years, now? And I still call the island "home"; even though I won't move back there to save my life. The warm weather was a very welcome change from the frigid days I've been dealing with here. It's been unnaturally cold for this early in the year. And I don't mean cold as in I'm used to 80 degree Christmases, cool chill. I mean butt ass freaking bone chilling "is it going to snow this year?" cold! It's not supposed to drop down close to freezing until Jan around here. It's been doing it for almost 3-4 weeks, now. Well, I have a new space heater, so maybe that'll help me cut back on my natural gas bill (since I don't get to choose my provider).

I've gotten the hang of Gears of War, finally. That game freakin r0x0rs!!!!! I haven't had any game time in almost a week, so I'm going to try to sit down tonight after work, and between Heroes and bed, to get some play time in. I've almost finished the game in puss mode. I want to get that out of the way so I can start on the harder settings (unlocking all the gamer points requires me to play on all settings).

In football, Tech has really suprised me this year. They've managed to land the by spot for the ACC Championship game this Sat; but, if they play anywhere near as bad as they did against UGA this past weekend (I still can't believe they lost), Wake Forest is going to stomp their butts all up and down the field. Normally, I could care less about football by this time of year, but with the GT vs. Wake Forest game, and the #4 BCS ranked Fla (and whoever they're playing) SEC Championship game this Sat, I'm hooked. Now as far as my other TV shows, I'm getting a little irritated. Nip Tuck keeps throwing in these lame episodes every other week, so you can't decide if you want to keep watching, or just scrap it and play video games instead. I'm totally hooked on Heroes, tho. There's been a few slow moving episodes, but the storyline is awesome. Not quite sure it has the material to last any longer than one season, however. I do hope it goes to DVD; I'd like to own that one. I've decided to forego The OC this season since it rivals the Grey's Anatomay time slot, which I've really gotten into (it's all your fault, Clue!). Besides, since Marissa is dead, there's not much of anyone left on the show worth oogling, newayz. I am still keeping up with Smallville and One Tree Hill, tho. Smallville has tremendously impressed me with its plots to introduce all of Superman's allies he's interacted with over the years in the comics. Hardcore fanboys will probably hate me for saying this, but I feel like they've done a pretty good job at working with DC to keep the base pre-storyline intact.

So, I guess that's my catch up for now. I need to actually get to doing some work, instead of playing here, newayz.



l8rs.

It's here!

Quick bump then I need to get back to work.

The last two weekends have been long hour days (and nights) to finish .hack//GU Vol 1., which I've completed. The story line finally picked up once I got into it. You'd think that in the real world if a game programmer drops some funky code that puts it's users into comas in not one, but both versions of a game world, there'd be some serious hell to pay. ;) Basically, the story line is similar to the first .hack series. Ur a player (dude) in the newly released version 2 of the MMORPG "The World" (called "The World R:2") who's lost a close friend (chick - potential love interest, I guess) to this "virus" that's put them in a coma. You're out to defeat the "virus", called A.I.D.A. (based on "Anna"), in this version. Fans will recognize Anna from the Legend of the Twilight DVD series. This time, certain game characters have been encoded by C.C., Corp. to utilize Avatars, which are the 7 waves from the previous game, to battle AIDA. Your character's Avatar is Skeith. Skeith is the first badass you battle with Data Drain in .hack//Infection. Anywayz, I'm not going to throw out any sploitz if you haven't finished it, yet. Graphics have been upped a little since the first installment, but nothing to give you mahagony over. Most of the effort was put into massively expansive and beautiful background environments. The FMVs aren't Final Fantasy quality, but they are still phonmonally done.

Just in time finishing .hack as Gears of War showed up in my mailbox yesterday. :D W00+!! I got all hyped up again after watching the release party coverage on MTV Monday night. Got to play it a little last night, and let me tell you: TH1Z G4M3 FR34K1N R0X0RZ!!!!11!!ONE!! Mwuhahahah!!! Ever since watching the demo at E3, I've been wanting to plant that chainsaw on the bottom of the auto rifle into the face of a Grub! Violent... gorey... fully revolving environment... impressively intelligent AI.... Everything to quench my fix until Halo 3 comes out next spring. The only way I can think to describe it is a mix between Doom, Quake, and Halo wrapped in a third person shooter. I haven't quite mastered the using cover maneuvers (I'm too used to the "run-and-gun" scenarios of most FPS's), so I've been getting my butt kicked something fierce (and I'm just playing on the "Casual" mode). I can't wait to get the guys together for a little Versus mode. :) As you can guess, my postings will continue to be quite sparse until I get so frustrated I'll have to take a break. This should keep me entertained until Christmas. ;)



Well, back to work. l8rs.

Need to change my hours.

That's it! I'm calling it right here and now. Until I can get my sleep schedule back on track and get my ass up in the morning like a normal person, I will be plopping my butt in bed before midnight. Whether I fall asleep or not is a diff story, but I'm still going to bed. This means no more G.U. until 5 am. Don't make me open up a can of "Ren Geki". ;) (That's my new "line".)

This weather sucks, btw. I feel like I should be in Seattle or something. It's cold and rainy. Makes you want to brew up a pot of coffee, crash on the couch in ur pj's, and play video games all day. Too bad I actually have a job. Well, at the rate I've been going the last couple of weeks, I may not....

Who am I kidding. My boss will just threaten me to get back on track, or he'll write me up (which he has yet to do). But, let's avoid the threat; I hate wasting his time and mine.



l8rs.

Is it just me, or do these posts seem to be getting shorter and shorter?

Wah hoo!

I'm sweaty, I stink, and I'm cold. Yet another fun night at Cowboys. No, no run-ins with the scary chicks. I was actually the dance instructor tonight. I even met a friend of a bride-to-be. I felt like such an idiot. I'm trying to point out the dances to these chicks, and I haven't been in, how long? I think it's been a month, at least. I'm out of practice. Eh, well, they were impressed and grateful. I guess I did OK. Even got a name from one of them (even tho I can't remember it to save my life). W00+! LOL. Whatever. Oh, Cowboys is going no cover before midnight. Figures since I finally managed to snag some free passes from my sister. Looks I might be making more than just my once a month trip now.

Well, I'm gonna get some more .hack//GU time in before I crash for the evening (morning).



l8rs.

Financial stupidities and a new OS (again).

I really should get an accountant that will only allot me so much a week for allowance to play with. It never fails. Every month, just after payday, I go an spend money on crap before I start paying my bills. Some of the things I've bought are a necessity. The Jeep needs some maintenance, so I've picked up most of the supplies for that, already. But, I made a detour to GameStop after work today and picked up 2 games. After last night, I've decided to start migrating the Xbox games that I can to the PS2 versions. So, I took a couple with me to sell that won't play on the 360 that I didn't really like when I bought them. Man, talk about a money making racket. I got all of $12 out of 3 relatively "new" games (I take care of my games, unlike other things). That's just sad. I probably paid a total of $100+ for those. Well, sorta. One of the replacements was the latest Tomb Raider. Yes, I'm madly in love with Laura Croft and own the entire series; even the crappy Angel of Darkness. My sister's probably gonna be a little peeved since she's the one who got me the Xbox version for my b-day last year. But, I have valid reasoning: it wouldn't play on the 360. I had no intention of getting a 360 when she asked me which platform I wanted it on. Duh, Xbox has better graphics than PS2. Course, now that I've been playing it all evening, the only difference I see is some minor rougher edges in the polys and a pain in the ass trying to calibrate the brightness and contrast. But, it supports widescreen (don't remember if the other version did or not since my old projector didn't support it). :D Enough; I could go on for days about Lady Croft. The other game I picked up, that I couldn't resist, is the newly released .Hack//GU. Generally, my GameStop trips are for used games, but I couldn't resist. I really got into the .hack series between the previous game, the anime, and a couple of the manga's. I forgot that FF XII came out this week. I'll have to put that one on my Christmas list. I still need to rent Dirge of Cerebus, even tho it's gotten a lot of bad reviews. I've been a fan of the FF series since the Nintendo. Yes, as in 8-bit. I know... I'm old. FF VII was the one that fully hooked me into the series, tho. But, now can you see why I need to have someone else pay my bills and get my staples? All I need is an allowance. I suck at finances.

Yes the wedding went well. No one passed out or didn't show. I was just happy for it to finally be over. Now maybe they'll let everyone continue on with their lives while the bride and groom start theirs. ... What? ... You want me to describe it? It was a wedding. You've all been to one. You should know what it looked like. ... It was big; too big. I'm all for the whole bride, groom, officiant, and small crowd (close family and friends) kinda wedding. This was too much of a dog and pony show for me. If I'm lucky, this is the last one I'll have to worry about until I get married (assuming I get married, that is). Small will be a big stipulation on it, that's for sure. Marriage is over-rated. No, no, no. I will not be bitter.

So, I'm back to Linux, again. Specially as my primary system. Some ppl probably think I change operating systems about a frequently as other ppl change their underwear. That's not too far off. I'm constantly installing and re-installing. It's what I do for a living. If I haven't re-installed my system at least twice in a 3 month period, something's wrong. With a little (and I mean _VERY_ little) convincing, I now have Core 6 in the laptop. I'm digging the power for virtualization, but Xen still isn't all that friendly. I'm back to running XP in VMware Server (for support purposes). My only complaints are: the Dell (Broadcom) wireless doesn't work out of the box, there's no CPU scaling support for the Core Duo, yet, and the power management still isn't totally there for the Duo (only about 1 1/2 - 2 hr runtime compared to between 3 and 4 under Windows). I think the Bluetooth works (haven't tested it); it supports the On/Off switch (recognizes when it's turned on or off via the switch on the side). There were, also, some much needed updates to a lot of the programs I like to use. I must say, I'm impressed. Which means I should be very happy with Red Hat Enterprise 5 when it finally comes out (slated for some time early next year). I've played with the beta, but it's not ready for my full-time attention, yet. Now don't get me wrong. Vista runs quite well on the Duo.. by itself. Once you start tacking on "legacy" programs (i.e., current versions/builds), it's still a little too unstable and grouchy for me to deal with right now. I'm going to take some time this weekend to try and get the wireless working (there should be some "Google"-able documentation somewhere out there). If I can't, then it's back to Vista, I guess.

l8rs.

No more galavanting about (for a while).

If it's not late nites on IM, tv schedules to keep, or work, I'm pretty much sleeping these days.  The crispness in the air has once again returned for another season.  Time once again to forego the hoppy frosty beers for a bottle of Cab, various cheeses, and seasoned steaks (altho, I need to head back down to Panama City and get some more seasoning).  I really don't care much for winter.  Unless there's packed powder on the ground and a board on my feet, I don't want any temp less than 70 degrees.  I couldn't hold back any more after the nipply freezing +10 temps this past weekend.  I had to turn the heater on.  I'm sitting here in my leather jacket and sweats at the moment just because I'm so damned cheap that I won't turn the temp up above 70 just yet.

K, nuff of the frigid talk, it's making me cold.  I'm going to have to go make a cup of coffee.  Point being in all this complaining, I don't like the cold, and rarely do I leave the apartment short of trips to the grocery store and work.  My summer is gone.  No more trips out to bartown; no more evening strolls in the humid night.  Just me, my laptop, my 360, and Blockbuster Online.  After this weekend that is.

Speaking of, I am sooo freakin frustrated.  Halloween weekend, Tech Homecoming, my old habitual Ga vs. Fla., and this freakin wedding.  My weekend is shot.  Can't relax Fri cause of all the rehearsal craziness, which starts almost immediately after I get off work.  Sat afternoon, I can't go to the Tech game cause of pictures.  Sat nite, can't watch the Ga game cause of the wedding and reception.  But I'll be dammed if I'm missing out on my friend's Halloween party, tho.  Once the cake cutting and toast is done, I'm slipping out.  I'll be conviently over-sleeping on Sun so I miss the brunch, too.  I don't care if it is "their" weekend.  It should not have this much to do with me.  Has anyone else ever recieived 6 different invitations to various parts of a wedding?  See?  Ridiculous....  And this is why I dread getting married.  All the over-hyped hoopla.  Stick to the basic principal: K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stuipd, for those of you who haven't heard that one yet).

Now that I have 3 or 4 veins popping out of my forehead and an annoying twitch in my right eye, I'm going to watch some TV and relax.  Worse case scenario, Master Chief and I may be popping a cap in some soon to be married couples.  ...It's all about therapy.  ;)

 

l8rs.

Being single.

At my age, most people have someone they want to spend the rest of their life with.  Whether it be socialtal influence or just raw human nature, we all want to find the perfect mate to fill what seems to be a void in our lives.  That Jerry McGuire line, "You complete me", is so cheezy, yet, there's an awful lot of truth behind it.  Some of us drop that fake smile and say, "I'm fine.  I don't need anyone in my life."  Deep down, we know we're lying to ourselves, but we don't want it to show.  We keep convincing ourselves that we're strong and can make it through life alone....  Alone....  Loneliness.  In all honesty, no one wants to be alone.  No one wants to come home day after day to an empty house filled with "toys" to keep us temporarily entertained hoping to fill that void of loneliness.  Most days, it can be subdued or temporarily contained.  Some of us have kids; others, pets.  We think the love to and from them can fill that gaping hole that resides in our heart.  On those "most days", the hole is plugged or forgotten about.  But ocassionaly, there's a day where nothing seems to satiate the seemingly endless void.  You try and try but nothing compares to that small moment of true happiness that comes from the gentle affection and loving care from another.

Today is one of those days.  It didn't catch my attention until I finally sobered up a bit this morning, but I was the only guy last night that didn't have someone to go home to.  Jokingly, I was proud of the fact that I could do anything and not have to answer to anyone for my actions.  However, it's not like we're a crazy bunch to begin with so, doing anything lude or seriously wrong wasn't going to happen.

Publicly, I've only jokingly admited to the comment that my last girlfriend screwed me up.  Honestly, it's more and more seeming true.  My social interation skills are laking, but I catch myself not even trying to make them better.  I'm eyeing the hot chick that walks by wondering what she's like, but I never build up the nerve to go talk to her and find out.  Subconciously, I think I've decided that lonliness is less painful than the emotional destruction of a relationship gone wrong.  There's something just wrong about that.  Life is nothing but chances and decisions.  We're not going to know if a choice we made is a bad one until we take the chance to make that choice.  Question is, do we take the chance or just avoid it and miss out all together?  There's this poster on my wall I've had since I was a kid.  It says, "We take these risks not to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping us."  It's been sort of a philosophy of mine ever since.  Sad thing is, I haven't applied it to my "love" life in quite a while.  I've just been avoiding taking the chance because I don't want to ever hurt like that again.  Physical pain is easy to deal with.  The wounds heal, sometimes with a scar, but most times there's no reminder you were ever even pained.  Emotional hurt is another story.  Sometimes the lacerations can never be repaired.  All you can do is slap a band-aid on it and hope for the best.  Maybe one day this incomplete void of mine will be filled by someone who will complete me.  Maybe there is no completion (I'm a little complicated like that), and I'm destined to never meet that perfect someone.  Or maybe I already have and missed my chance.  Either way, life goes on.  We should enjoy each day for what it is and not worry about what we have and don't have.

What a sappy blog.  K, I'm done being a puss.  However, I still feel like ass (be it emotional or just the remainder of the hangover).  Also, I can't seem to get rid of this feeling that a cat shit in my mouth, so I'm going to brush my teeth... again.

 

l8rs.

I think I'm still drunk.

No, really; I probably am.  I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.  Party went well.  As everybody knows, what goes on at a Bachelor Party stays with the guys that went.  ;)  Not like we did anything really crazy that could get the bride-to-be all pissed off, but that's besides the point.

Either, way.  I'm going to try to function and make some coffee, then probably go back to bed.  With the rain earlier this AM, today's a good day to recover.

 

l8rs.

Ignorance of society.

I always seem to forget how ignorant some of the dipshits working behind the counter at gas stations can be.  This disappointingly reminds me about how lazy and unwilling to try our society is these days.  I could have swore that I very plainly and cleary asked for 3 packs of Camel Ultra Lights.  Now, it may be my overall exhaustion (due to my refusal to submit to a decent sleeping schedule lately), but I shouldn't have to pay attention to what he places on the counter.  I run my debit card thru the little reader (this thing was slow responding to button pushes, btw) and look up to get my receipt from the guy.  As I go to leave and grab the packs, what has he given me?  Malboro.  Now, any smoker will tell you, we are very finiky when it comes to our cigs.  Of course, it's too late to tell him this is the wrong thing (and I'm in no mood to argue with the guy) because the price is usually different between Camels and Malboros.  So, now I'm stuck for the next week and a half (since I'm not smoking anywhere near as much) tolerating the horrid stench that is Malboro (I really don't like the way those things smell).  At least they were Ultra Lights.

It's just so sad that you can't trust anyone to just do their jobs, anymore.  If you don't make sure they do it right, it doesn't happen.  ergh...

BTW, I did manage to get some drawings done the other night.

 

l8rs.

(only 3 more weeks till Gears of War!)

Inspiration gone.

Reinstalling a secondary laptop with Ubuntu.  In the process, the art table is cleared of unrelated clutter.  I find it sitting there.  My empty sketchbook.  With the effort put into getting this thing and other drawing supplies so many months ago, you'd think it would be full of doodles and sketches by now.  There's probably no more than 3 decent drawings and a small handful of screw-ups.  Tonite, I sit, hoping for at least some sort of a creative spurt.  Nope.  This bites.  How am I going to produce an entire comic if I can't even do free sketches from time to time?  The deadline is drawing nearer and nearer.  I have the tools; I've invested in the namespace.  All I need now is the art.  There's just been too much effort put into worring about friends plans and too much misguided time placed on unrealistic ideas.  Time to get back to reality.  Time to work a more manageable schedule and spend time being creative again instead of pouring bitchings and rantings out through a keyboard.  The sabatical was much needed, and I'm pretty sure another one will be taken before the Thanksgiving break.  I even experienced by first corn maze.  Yes, as in you venture through a maze that was cut into a corn field.  If it wasn't daytime, I would have had some serious "Children of the Corn" slash "Pumpkin Head" nightmares.  ;)  At least I'm not claustraphobic.  It was still kinda neat.

Now the question begs, being an hour before midnight, do I pack it in and try to sleep like a normal human being; or, do I pop open the can of Coke in front of me and continue to try to doodle?

 

I'll let you know tomorrow.  l8rs.

Blogless.

Nope. No wit... no cynicism... nuttin'.

Just big OMG!! on Grey's Anatomy. And, WTF?! is up with Blockbuster Online? THEY ARE SOOOOO SLOW!! I've been waiting a week for my freakin DVD!

Also, I've been feeling like quite the little perv with some of my IM convos lately. **mischevious grin** Schweet... 3;)



l8rs.

Overcoming lackadaisical.

I've been in a sad state of laziness for the last month or so, and the apartment's starting to show.  I have dirty piles of laundry that have been in the floor for about 5 days now (I ran out of detergent).  The kitchen's a wreck (although I did finally clean out the sink a few hours ago).  There's dog hair and pine straw (it sticks to your shoes every time it rains here) all over the living room.  Clean laundry is still in the basket from last Friday.  Junk is collected everywhere (i.e., on the bar) instead of filed away where it's supposed to be.  I've avoided balancing my checkbook and paying bills since halfway through last month.  I just haven't felt like doing squat when I get home in the evenings.  I think it's mostly because I just want to come home after work and do nothing.  Every weekend for the last 3 weeks has been pretty much planned out for me.  Admittedly, some of it is things I've wanted to do, but still.  Guess it's just time to get off my patookus get this place cleaned up.  Dealing with the checkbook is the biggest priority.  I should probably get the clothes out of the floor since my friend is coming over for dinner and Nip Tuck tomorrow.  ;)  Yeah, this pile of shoes I'm staring at needs to go back in the closet, too.  I haven't spent any effort on the comic past what I did a few Sundays ago.  That can wait until after this wedding is over.  Damn, you'd think I was getting married.  I've never seen two people put so much pre-wedding into a wedding.  I'm soooo not having a big wedding, if that day ever comes.

Upside, I've got my game on, again.  :D  I bought SSX3 for $4 Friday.  And it works on the 360!  12 year old Griff is the man.  That kid can carve some serious powder (or at least he will be by the time I'm finished).  Why did I go into computers instead of skim boarding (the waves weren't big enough to surf in my hometown) or skiing (snow boarding was still young) or music like I dreamed when I was a kid?  I guess I still could if I wanted, but these sore, unused muscles don't heal as fast as they used to.  That and having the fat dog helps keep me grounded in the reality that you still have to pay rent and utilities.

OK, I'm going to attempt cleaning.  Besides, it'll keep me from thinking about smoking.

 

l8rs.

Cowboys and drunk "cow-girls".

As I go to Cowboys more and more, I'm having much more fun. I'm learning most of the line dances, so I spend more time on the floor instead of standing around looking like every other wallflower idiot. Only problem is I end up the target of drunk fat chicks. I'm going to appologize if this rant offends, but I just have to lay it out. Girls, there is a reason us guys drink.

I really don't understand what some girls are thinking when they put on the clothes they do. There are just some things that some women should NOT wear. Take this one, for example. Tight jeans and a mid-drift bustier. On some, this would be an awesome outfit. Howerver, on this particular one... let's just say she really needed to tuck some of those rolls back in her jeans. Ugh, it was just... wrong. Then there was this other. I hadn't been there maybe 30 minutes. I'm standing around on the edge of the floor, solemly drinking my beer, during a slow song trying to watch the end of the Tenn vs. UGA game, like a few others. Drunk-ass grabs me to dance. It's sad that I'm a nice guy, 'cause I let her. What's worse, I remember her. She's done this before (trust me; the "scary" ones always stick in your mind for some reason). Luckily, she found some other drunk schmuck to shmooz on for the rest of the evening. Oiu. Yet another reason I've lost interest in going to bars in my "old age". Don't get me wrong. There are cute ones a plenty. They're just there for the same reason I am: to dance. So, just a quick word of advice. Take a really good look in the mirror when you throw on that miniskirt and tub-top, and ask yourself, "Do I really look like the models in the advertisements for this ensemble?" If the answer is no, you probably shouldn't wear it to a non-skanky bar.

Either way, I still had a good time. And, it was much needed after the stressful GA Tech game today. If you didn't watch it, synopsis:

 4th quarter; Tech is up by 3.  Maryland ends up on the Tech 2 yard
 line with a minute some odd left.  Time out.  After the line up, Tech
 panics and calls their 3rd time out.  2nd down, Tech holds 'em.  
 Maryland time out  (their last).  3rd down, Tech sacks the QB for a 
 6 yard loss.  The crowd's going nutz and panicing at the same time.
 4th down, Maryland's in the shotgun; oh, schzit!  Tech pulls a double 
 blitz.  QB sack!  w00+!  30 seconds left.  Tech posession; they down 
 it, and game over.  Holy hell, what an ending.

Well, I don't need to sleep all day. I've got to head to Kroger to get more laundry detergent and get my Blockbuster rental back before noon, so I'm off to bed. I've a funny feeling I will be spending more Sat evenings at Cowboys. Guess I'm gonna end up being one of those "regulars" pretty soon. How sad.



l8rs.

Words of wisdom.

Wise man say, "Grasshopper no IM 'till 4am."

Heed that advice. I'm going to bed before I pass out in the floor.



l8rs.

Too much energy.

There's one thing that sucks about quitting smoking.  No, it's not the nic-fits.  ;p~  I have waaaayyy too much energy.  It can't be the caffine.  My intake hasn't changed, nor have my sleeping habits.  I never realized that smoking can mellow you out so much.  There was this doctor's daughter that I guarded with back in the days (no... nothing happened... I wasn't that lucky) that mentioned something about the methodical rhythmic breathing that it causes.  I'm thinking that's only part of it.  I moved to the smaller patch today, but yesterday and the day before, I was zoned out on the bigger patch.  Like I said yesterday, it was probably more nicotine than I was used to.  I've estimated that the big one lasts about 12 hours, but the initial contact causes my arm to go numb.  ;)  The smaller one only lasts about 8.  It is a much more controlled dose.  Funny thing is, they consider it step 3 of 3.  OK, I can't concentrate on this and Nip Tuck at the same time.

 

l8rs.

TV issues.

Well, that was a quick answer.  After keying my way through all the automated beeps and munber sequences, I get this nice little automated message (obviously, not quoted word for word):

"Yes, we know the service in your area is screwed up.  Our slack-ass techs are still sucking down corn dogs on their coffee break, but they may figure out what they broke to cause this sometime by the end of the week."

At least I figured out which channel is ESPN.  ;)  You don't ever realized how much you depend on that guide.  Who the hell can memorize 600 some odd channels, newayz.

So I'm not doin too bad on my non-smoking trip.  These patches don't work half bad, but they leave your arm raw as hell when you take them off (and itchy).  I forgot to take the one off last night.  Talk about some fscked up dreams.  Well, it is a warning on the box.  I didn't really crave one until my usual break time around 3 this afternoon.  It wasn't a nic-fit or anything.  These things pretty much loose their potency about now, so I'm craving another.  I've only had half of one (when I got home around 8).  I'm still debating going for the other half.  "But, ur not trying!  Don't give in!"  Screw off, compared to my 10 a day, I'm pretty damn proud of 1/2 in 2 days.  Now that I think of it, this explains why I've been so mellow all day.  I think this patch has more nicotine in it than I usually get.  Might should switch to the smaller one tomorrow.  ;)

OK, got some torrents to tend to, and Green Bay's actually beating McNabb and the Eagles, so I'm gonna watch.

 

l8rs. (for good this time)

Um...

...

Well, for once I really just don't have anything to rant about.  I'm sitting here watching "Heroes". 

Hmmm.

Wow.

I guess I'm just too mentally burnt out to really care about anything.  As usual, the comic is still not on schedule.  Maybe one day that will change, but that day is not today.  :p~  Of course, something does seem really odd.  My TV guide is all screwed up, and for some reason I can't find Monday Nite Football.  Has it moved from ABC to ESPN?  Yes, it has.  That's weird.  Also, I'm getting the TV Guide channel.  Oh, hell.  My digital's off.  What the hell....

Lemme go figure this out.

 

l8rs.

Social circalism...

I can 't think for shit right now.... nor can I type.  Beer is a wonderful thing.  ;)  An$5d I'm supposed to be ready to leave for a Falcons game by 11:30 tomorrow... eh... this morning.  Ah, hell.  BTW, I'm going to go ahead and appologize for misspellings as I'm a little loopy at the moment (between the hour and the amount I've had to drink tonight).  I can't exactly see straight.  I probably shouldn't have driven home, but like always, I'm always worse once I get home and start to relax.

So, I've decided I need to join some sort of social circle.  Problem is, I can't decide which kind.  I loved clubbing; problem is, dropping $40+ for cover charge and beer is not my idea of a fun investment anymore.  Call me old, but hell, that's more than a tank of gas.  Between Compound and Cowboys, I always have a good time.  Paying at least $10 to get in the door, then dropping ~$5 a beer is just plain stupid.  Getting a six pack for a few dollars more, and having my own party at home is more financially intelligent, in MHO.  'Specially considering I'm a broke IT admin.  Most of my debt is because of eating out and alcohol purchases from my college years.  Next, I love video games (just in case you haven't already figured that out), yet, I'm nowhere near a hardcore gamer (unlike what most of my friends like to think).  I just play for fun and therapy.  Then, there's sci-fi.  As I came to discover at DragonCon, I'm not into anything enough to be a fanatic.  This leaves me at a serious fork in the road. 

Becoming a regular at Cowboys is probably going to be my choice; however, there are some issues I have with that.  Take tonight for example.  I head over after leaving the wedding shower I attended (which turned out to be not as bad as I thought it was going to be).  I meet up with my sisiter's friend, but she's been up all day (whereas I finally slept in for the first time in a couple of weeks) and bolts out earlier than usual.   I decided to hang around for the next set of line dancing since I missed all the earlier "festivies" due to showing up later.  Cool thing is, she got me a free pass in, so no cover charge.  Schweet!  More money for beer (not like I really needed any more).  NEwayz, in my people watching, I started to wonder: why is it all the chicks that hit on you are the ones you really have no intrest in whatsoever?  Also, girls have it easy.  They can hit the dance floor and have a good time grooving to the music/rhythm.  A guy gets out there by himself, and he looks like a total putz.  That just blows and is so not fair.  From my standpoint, that 's what makes clubbing, as a guy, so hard.  You have to get a or some chicks to go with you.  You can't just show up by yourself.  I may be able to pull it off at Cowboys if I just get out there for the line dancing, but during the "booty music breaks", as my sister called it, I'm stuck to sitting on the sidelines drinking a beer and smoking a cig to pass the time if I don't have a dance partner.  So not fair.

Speaking of smoking, I've finished off my carton, so I'm gonna try quitting, once again.  Not because my parents told me I have to; not because my friends don't care much for cigarette smoke; but because I actually want to try.  Good thing I still have some of those patches left.  Tomorrow will be my first day without.  I have some cloves left, but I can probably pawn those off on my friend, Clue, who's hooking me up with the Falcon's tix.  I'll keep you posted on how it turns out.

As far as the comic.... yeah.  My "go live" date is now December.  Haven't dediced when, yet, but that'll come when I have all this other crap out of the way.

You know, thinking about this rant while I was sitting at Cowboys, and on the drive home, I wasn't expecting it to be this long.  Here it is 4:30a, and I've just been going to town.  Well, the alarm's gonna start going off at 9a, so, I'm gonna crash.

 

l8rs.

Definately a bad idea.

I'm loosing my mind. ...No, I've already lost it. There is no way I'm gonna make my Oct 1 go live date. I'll even be lucky if I make Dec 1 at this rate. I was looking at the upcoming TV schedule today, and I'm watching at least one show every evening. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to work, keep up on the comic, and keep up with 6 TV series? Speaking of watching TV, there's this fscked up movie on... "Nightwatch"... with Ewan McGregor. Supposed to be some sort of "gory suspenser", as the guide describes it. I'm quickly loosing interest, and it's only been on for 30 min. Ew, Patricia Arquette has on this horribly bad bowl cut blonde wig.

So, for the comic (yes, total random thought process here), I've been thinking about the site layout. I want to do a background image, but I want the image to scale with the size of the browser. When I was coding pages (html v3), this wasn't possible. I've been spending more time with OS's and hardware over the years, so I've gotten out of the graphical design side of things. Good thing I have 2 good friends (one is the webmaster at work) I can hit up for ideas. Hell, I may even just get my friend that freelances to do it (paying in alcohol is always easy). ;) So, I guess I'll just keep drawing and working on getting things scanned in and manipulated into images. Ergh... well, work is still being a pain, also. Hopefully I can keep everything in check and give myself time to do the comic. This month is crazy with my friend getting married. This better be the last wedding I'm involved in.

Well, I'm going to finish watching my Elfin Lied DVD, then I'm going to bed.



l8rs.

Maybe a bad idea.

I'm really beginning to think this whole webcomic thing was a bad idea.

It's been a crazy weekend.  Fri was the "meet my friend" night.  That turned out to be a bust, since she seemed a whole hell of a lot more interested in someone else she met earlier in the evening.  No big.  She's leaving town next weekend newayz.  Then, yesterday, I ended up helping my friend pack and clean his soon to be sold house.  Long day, but I got a free lunch out of it.  Went for hot wings at Taco Mac for dinner.  How I've missed that place.  Awesome wings!  Last trip of the night was, of course, my trip into work to shutdown the server room in prep for the power outage this morning.  I'm guessing my co-worker couldn't read my handwriting cause he still powered my cluster on wrong.  At least I didn't have to go down there today.

So, I wake up this morning (knowing I'm supposed to spend the whole day working on the comic) and it's raining.  Nothing hard; just one of those lazy summer rainy days with "fat" rain and a cool breeze.  Enough to make you just want to curl up on the couch with a warm blanket and watch movies all day.  There went my motivation.  Oh, I've been drawing, but I've been finding everything else I can to do instead.  I've discovered I'm more of an inspiration artist.  I tend to do single drawings when I get inspired.  This isn't hard, and I've already sketched all 4 panels for the first post.  I just need to ink and scan and combine them into an image.  Honestly, the inking process isn't all that hard either, and I already know how I want to put them together.  I'm just not all that versed in how to use GIMP, so I don't know how long it will take me to put them together.  I still have to submit that image to the provider to get approved for the site.  While I'm waiting on approval, I still need to code that site.  I haven't created a web "site" in forever.  I've also decided to use Amaya to do this to make it easier to maintain.  Considering I haven't really planned the layout of the site, this could take some time.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make my Oct 1 deadline.  If I do this correctly, updating posts shouldn't take anywhere near as much effort as the initial creation.  The only thimg I'm hating is the creation process.  I was thinking, "Oh, this can't be all that difficult.  I love to draw!"  Hah!  I should have paid more attention to other artists bitching about the heart-wrenching 8 hours it takes to create a page.  They weren't kidding.  It took me 2 hours just to sketch 2 of 4 panels.  I may not get the inking finished tonight, but I'm going to at least try (if I can force my way through this motivation funk I'm in).  My initial plan of working on the comic on Sundays is probably going to change to throughout the week.  Last thing I need is spending all of the last day of my weekend working on my newly dubbed "unpaid second job".  ;)

Well, I've wasted enough time.  I need to change the laundry, take out the fat dog, get some grub, then get back to inking.

 

l8rs.

Oui Vey.

I'm not quite the young whipper-snapper that Ilike to think I am.  So my friend decides she wants to hook me up with at least one of her other friends.  Quick question here: why do girls always want to play matchmaker for their single guy friends?  Newayz, so we go to this pub last night.  Here's where I'm getting old.  No, it wasn't the staying out late part; I'm up till somewhere between 2 and 4 am almost every night.  I'm not quite sure where or when it happened, either, but I've just lost the whole entertainment value of sitting around in a noisy, smokey bar drinking.  I can do that at home: 1. it's a whole lot cheaper, and 2. you don't have to scream at each other to talk.  If I'm going out, I want to be on a dance floor somewhere.  Also, I've noticed my socialization skills are a bit out of practice.  I haven't been on an actual date in about 5 years, now.  Don't get me wrong, I had a good time, and quite a few of her friends we met up with were rather cute.  She did make a point last night that affirmed what has been on the back of my mind for a while: "all of my friends think you're a hottie... but, you smoke."  It's funny.  About 5 or 6 years ago when I started, it was cool or nobody really cared.  Now that I've broken that 30 barrier, you get shunned to the outer rims of society.  I guess it's part of that whole growing up, taking on responsibility thing that most start thinking about in their 30s.  Heh.  Nope.  I still refuse to get past about 25 or 26.  ;)  I have to admit, tho, that she's right.  It is time to finally quit; especially if I ever plan on dating again.  Once I finish this carton, I'm going to attempt to it, once again.

So where was I going with this?  Hell if I remember.  Ah well.  Lemme get cleaned up and changed before another friend gets over here to pick me up.  I'm off to fulfill the last of my packing duties... hopefully, the last for quite a while.

 

l8rs.

WTF!!???

Damn, dude.  It's frikin' 11:30, already, and I still haven't stopped working?  I am sooooo far behind at work.  Today was meetings, meetings, meetings.  I abhore meetings with a passion.  All that's ever accomplished is everyone talking about what they want to get done which just wastes precious time to get stuff done.  This, yet, further affirms the fact that I never want any sort of political, managerial, or executive roll in my job... ever!  I have at least 30 some-odd support tasks to work on (from installs, to network port activations, to Active Directory permission allowances, to... hell, I can't keep count).  This doesn't include the 30 some-odd "projects" that I either want to work on or need to get done ASAP that's been on my whiteboard since January.  ...NOTE: if you take vacation, be sure to give yourself at least a day to catch up on email....

I'm out of "Please Teacher!" DVDs to watch.  Time to rip these and send 'em back for more (so I can finish up the series).

On the more fun-side of life (heh, yeah, like that really exists), Ch33zip00fz! is starting to build up it's internet presence.  I've already secured email and a few places to "pimp" the comic.  Also, I think I've decided on software and a host provider.  My goal is to have at least the first page up by Oct 1, 2006.  That gives me a week and a half to get all the tools together, the site designed, and at least one drawing done.  Whew, that's beginning to sound pretty unrealistic now, but let's see what I can get done this weekend before deciding that.  We're about to show the world how crappy my html coding skillz are.  ;)  I guess I should go ahead and purchase the domain just in case I really want to continue on with this so I don't get screwed later.  My only fear I've had in all this is overnight success.  I mean, it's highly unlikely and all, but you never know.  I just want to do this for fun.  I still have a real job that I want to keep.  And, yes, I said, "keep"; as in I don't want to get fired because the comic ends up taking over my life because I have multitude of readers to appease.  This has probably been my biggest delay as of late.  Well, no worries.  Hell, who knows?  It could end up being the next cult following.  Heh... yeah, like that'd ever happen.  :\  Well, I need to get some sleep.  I now have 3 days to catch up on instead of two, and I have plans to hang with a friend tomorrow evening (the Guiness calls).  I don't want to be at work all night.

Oh, BTW.  Vista is working!  w00+!  The wireless, video, and modem didn't work out of the box, but with some coaxing from the Dell drivers and a hack on the Nvidia driver, all is well.  I may post what I did to get it running, but hopefully come release date, it won't matter.  Just a side note, this "Aero" Visual Appearance that they're tauting is only for the high end video cards kinda reminds me of Mac's Aqua... hmmmm.... can we say, "Copycat"?  ;)

 

l8rs.

Whew.

I hate going on vacation. You're gone from work for 2 days, and as soon as you get back, you find out something has either horribly gone wrong or noone can figure out the things you do (even tho it's all documented). Well, at least I have job security. ;)

So... I'm back. Actually, I got back yesterday afternoon, but I just needed to sit around and veg. Yet another sunburn to nurse. Living under all this flourescent lighting for the last 7 years has weakened my tolerance to the sun. As much as I hate to say this, I guess I'm going to have to start going to a tanning bed about once or twice a month. I'll just find one of those weak ones. I've been missing my regularly tanned skin anyway.

Well, RC2 is now out for Windows Vista, so I'm gonna give the wireless and the video another try. Maybe even Fedora Core 6 Test 2 will work (I need to play with the ndiswrapper from ATrpms). I'm off to reformat my laptop... once again. I've taken a chance and rented "Please Teacher!" since I haven't seen much on it. It's a little odd, but it seems to be pretty good. It's running in the background.

l8rs.

General Tso's Spicy Sesame Pork.

I am the stir fry master! I've discovered a new dish tonight. I loves me some stir fry, and tonight was the night. Take some of those really thin pork slices that Kroger sells (the ones you can't do anything with other than make sandwiches) and slice into strips. Drop in the wok with a little olive oil so not to burn 'em. Season with minced garlic, McCormick's Season Salt, sesame seeds, and a little soy sauce for taste (just don't ask me how much 'cause I never measure anything). Once cooked, glaze with Iron Chef brand General Tso's Glaze and Sauce. mmmmmm.... magnifique y delicioso! (<--- that's fre-spanglish for really frikin' good) See, I told you I've been on a food kick lately. ;) Actually, I like to cook. I'm not a master chef or anything (my presentation skills blow), but I don't think I'm that bad. It's just so hard to cook for one person (even tho I can eat enough for two people). That and I grew up where the cook never cleans. The cleanup afterwards is always the suckiest part.

Well, the 'rents will be here tomorrow to help move my sister this weekend. I'm heading down with them to unload and unpack. I'm making it a 5-day weekend; my last on the beach for the summer. They don't have high-speed internet, yet, so this'll probably be my last post until Tues or Wed of next week when I get back.

Oh, yeah... I'm getting my drafting table, so I should start more definitive work on "Ch33zip00fz!" soon. Yay! The dream is finally starting to become a reality. :D I finally got my game back on last night. Since going through my Xbox games for compatiblity, I came to the sad discovery that I can't transfer my old game saves from the Xbox to the 360. So, last night, I started over with Halo. Finished it up earlier before cooking dinner, so on to the next. I'll probably go through a round or two of DOA4 then start on Halo 2 since I won't be able to get any game time in this weekend. Off I go. :p~



l8rs.

It's official. I can't sleep like normal human beings.

I don't have a freakin clue what my issue is. I think I finally burnt myself out today. I went on 4 hours of sleep (which isn't all that unnatural) today. I started nodding off in front of a computer around 2p, and it was all I could do to keep from passing out on the train on the way home. So, I get home and just crash on the couch. This is around 7p. An hour later, I wake up, do what I need and head off to bed. I have to fight myself for about a half hour just to get to sleep. Then what happens? I wake up at 11:30p. Well, now I know there's no way I can even consider going to sleep before 4a. This blows. Why can't I sleep like everyone else? Not to mention I've been waking to funky dreams about people I haven't talked to in 10+ years thinking, "WTF was that all about!?" The only thing that's changed is I've started drinking more Sprite. Hmmm.... maybe I should lay off the lymon.... LOL.

Well, might as well make use of the time and pay bills or clean or *gasp* do work.



l8rs.

I think I'm pregnant.

You laugh, but I'm serious. I've been gorging myself like a starved little Ethiopian child. I normally eat by just snacking all day long. Now I'm eating 3 full meals (including breakfast which I usually skip) plus all my snacking. Hell, I've probably even gained a little weight (which would make my mom happy). Ah, well; the seasons are changing. My appetite usually is affected by it.

It's been an extremely long weekend. Between the concert on Friday and all the packing help yesterday, I'm exhausted. The concert on Friday. Oh, that was a foobar in itself. I go to Cowboys to fill my little desire for country line dancing. So, I'm on the phone with a friend trying to determine a movie to watch, and I get a text message saying I'm getting kidnapped to go to Cowboys. The band playing is the Zac Brown Band; not your typical country atmosphere band. The place was packed, but not a whole lot of line dancing going on. And the crowd was not the normal country-goers. I could actually count the number of ppl dancing on 2 hands. Don't get me wrong, the band was good, and I would have had a good time... in a different setting. Needless to say, I left after the first set. I think the majority of the regulars did as well. The band has taken a regular spot on Wed nights. It's sad to see a bar have to changes it's format to keep afloat. That's usually the only reason something like this happens, at least, from what I've seen in the past. I don't live there regularly, like my sister and some of her friends, but I do like to go for a change of pace every once and a while. It would be sad to see it go. There is another country bar. I've never been, but I've heard it's just not the same.

OK. That's out of the way, as is most of the packing. So, now, I need to pick up those tubs and pack up the junk that's here. Not to mention, the apartment is a wreck, and I need to do laundry something fierce. Geeze... I'm just never going to get any game time in. This is driving me insane! Today is my only day for the next two weeks. Next weekend, I move my sister. The following, I move my friend. I'm so ready to just sit down and do nothing for an entire weekend. Alright. I'm going to finish watching the village, make a few phone calls, then decide if I want to be productive or not. :) 3nj0i the rest of ur weekends.



l8rs.

post tomorrow... hopefully

I'm in the process of installing (for, like, the 5th time since yesterday) the Linux half of my new (well, month old, but it's still new to me) laptop. I'm installing and playing with some new blogging tools as well.

Since I just realized it's 3:30a, I'm going to bed. I've got some ranting to do about tonight. But I don't want to be up when the sun rises, so it'll have to wait. My sister got her new job, so I'm packing her up tomorrow. Then I'm off to help a friend pack up his collection of junk for storage later in the evening since he finally sold his house ("cottage in the boonies", as his fiance calls it). That means a new entry may not happen until sometime Sun. How is it, all of a sudden, I'm packing/moving almost everyone I know? Short of when my sister moved out last Feb, I haven't done any moving in the last two years (which is a feat in itself, since I'm the one usually moving every 8 months to a year). This'll be 3 ppl in the last month.

Bed... must go to bed or I'll be up all night.

l8rs.

Sad obsession.

So I'm sitting outside enjoying a clove and a glass of Cab while BS'ing with my sister and I realize... this is the first night I haven't worn sleeves or a sweatshirt in the last couple of evenings.  Of course it might have something to do with the 3/4 of a bottle I've finished since I got home from work.  That or the admittance that Fall is upon us with the light fading sooner, the dew falling heavier, and the cool evenings and mornings.  Soon, I will be loosing that extra hour I so cherish from Daylight Savings.  My summer is once again over.  The warm sunshine, humidity, and longer days are no more.  My krispiness from the trip to the pool the other day is the last of the season.  The heat can be unbearable at times, but I so long for warmer days.  I am not a soul of colder climates.  I prefer sandy beaches, sweaty afternoons, and salty hoppy beers.  Instead, I switch to wines of red and blush and layers of clothing with thicker socks. 

....This sucks!  ;)

Eh, maybe I'll be able to scrounge up enough funds to go skiiing this year.  If not, at least, maybe I'll be able to con a few friends into a camping trip in the early Fall as the leaves change and beautify the scenic tromp through the north Georgia mountains trails.  I was reading a post from Fred about the slow progress of change of nature compared to the standard disposable society we live in these days and realized how much being away from the city and in the calm relaxing openess of nowhere-land soothes my ever-spastic nature.  Admitedly, I can only take it in small doses; but, still, it is well welcomed.

On another note, this blogging thing has become an extremely sad obsession.  Since the Con, I feel like I have to post something almost every (if not every) day, now.  Also, I noticed I've had an exponentional increase in views to my blog in the last couple of days.  Do you ppl really give a $h!+ about what I have to rant about?  Wow... that's just scary.  I'm just another soul on this information highway of life; nothing all that important.  Well, if you honesly like, then 3nj0iZ!  :)  For some funky reason, I'm feeling sharing; which in itself is oxymoronic because I'm not an extremely open person.  I'm normally very private.  I can't quite figure out why dumping random thoughts to a keyboard seem to come so enigmaticaly or easily.  Whatever.

Yet another post that turned into a whole lot more philosophical meandering than I intended.  So, off to video game land I go (been jonesing the last couple of days).  Oh, BTW, I'm still psyched about getting Ch33zip00fz online.  That's an accomplishment in itself being 3 days and I haven't lost interest, yet.  ;)  I'm in the phase of figuring out how to procure the hardware to do what I need.  Admitedly, my doodling hasn't increased all that much, but still: I am psyched!  Ok, I'm really outtie this time.

 

l8rs.

Con Report - Day 2 (Part Deux)

Errrrggghhh.. I so hate Myspace sometimes.  You spend 30 minutes working on something, and dammit if it doesn't post.

Ooooo... this ought to be an interesting season.  Sorry, been watching Nip Tuck.  ;)

Ok, so back to the Con.  Sorry about not posting, yesterday.  I ended up not going after all.  I was out getting krispy by the pool.  I hurt now... Ouch.  Well, you've seen the few pictures I finally managed to post.  Sunday was, as I mentioned, more of a business conference kinda experience for me.  I got some really good info on getting Ch33zip00fz up and running from the Webcomics panel.  They were hilarious.  Kittyhawk kicked this page up on the projector which stopped one of the other guys in mid-introduction saying, "There are boobs on the screen, aren't there?  Well, I can't compete with that.  I give up."  Sad thing is, there were 6 artists on the panel, and all I can remember is Jennie and Kittyhawk.  I don't remember much of what I did after that, either.  Dude, what happended to my memory!?  I know I went to the bar, but I didn't drink that many Stellas.  ;)  Hehehe...  So, Sunday morning I sat in on the Buffy characters panel (Zander and Glory).  It was actually pretty funny.  Those two both have quite a realistic sense of humor.  However, the best was the Wash and River panel (Firefly/Serenity) that followed.  Alan Tudyk is a riot!  LOL!  The best question he was asked was, "Who's a better kisser, [the chick who plays Zoe (can't remember her name)], or Heath Ledger [from A Knight's Tale]?"  Oh the look on his face was classic!  Yah... everything else is just a blur till the Masquerade costume contest.  THAT was pretty freakin funny, but my friend and her relatives were saying it wasn't as good as last year.  I liked the Storm Trooper Janitors, tho.  They won most original, or something like that, but not over-all.

And, so, that wraps up the con report (as lame as it is).  I'll definately be going again next year.  However, I may be cosplaying.  I was informed that I would make a very good Gambit.... hmmm... not quite sure how to respond to that.  I don't know French (other than "merde") or Acadian; and, to top it off my Cajun accent sucks.  Well, looking forward to AWA in 2 weeks!  Hopefully, I'll have the cash to go.

 

l8rs.

Con Report - Day 2

I spent most of the day in and out of panels.  However, I'm exhausted and have smoked waaaay too much in the last couple of days.  I'll post more details tomorrow.  Besides, I need to get back on my semi-regular sleep schedule for work on Tues.  I forgot to take pictures... again... but, I've added the few I took to the Flickr set.

And for Linda: "I like cheeze!"

Oh, and plug for Sparking Generation Valkyrie Yukki.  Major props to Kittyhawk for her awesome help and information in the Drawing 101 and Webcomics panels yesterday and today.  I skipped Drawing 201; I needed a break.

 

l8rs.

Con Report - Day 1

I can now say I have attended my first anime fan boy moderated panel.  This was for the "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex" series of which I haven't see all of the episodes for, yet.  I love watching anime, but I leave it at just watching it.  Heh, I've always read about this, but it's true... fan boys are a mess.  I don't see how anyone can get so riled up about a cartoon... or movie or tv series for that matter.  Don't get me wrong, the debates in the panel were interesting.  I almost put my two cents worth in when they started arguing about the continuity and chance for error when it comes to digitial reproduction (it started by referring to an episode where "ghost" copying was performed).  I'm glad I stayed out of it, now.  It's not worth arguing with a fanatic that thinks they're right.  Especially, when I only have limited knowledge on the subject (even tho I work with one of the top DSP graduate departments in the nation).  The bonus for the panel was I got to watch a screener for the new movie coming out in November.  I almost smacked the moderator and one of the geeks sitting in front of me when they wouldn't shut up throughout the whole damn movie.  It was hard enough trying to concentrate since the thing was in Japanese with no subtitles.  Probably even the funniest of this event was the rather large crowd waiting on the movie to end so the henti (anime pr0n) could start.

As for the rest of the con, I finally got down there around 2p.  I slept in since I was up so late last night.  The first couple of hours were spent figuring out how to get around the 2 hr waiting line (if I hadn't found out that pre-registerees could skip the wait, I would have gone back home), wandering the dealer rooms (which I left quickly so I wouldn't start spending money on things I did NOT need), and getting my bearings of the all the different rooms across the 3 hotels.  I still haven't gone to anything in the Marriot, yet.  As with all cons, cosplayers are everywhere.  I saw comic book heroes, Storm Troopers, X-Wing Fighter Pilots, Jedis, Darth Vaders, Browncoats, Trekkies, a very well done Belle from Beauty and the Beast:

,a good deal of different Anime characters (suprisingly), tons of vampire and Goth-based leather, vinyl, and lace, and faries out the wazoo.  Even managed to finally get a picture of Master Chief:
There were several other game characters that I recognized as well, but I couldn't tell you which games they were from off the top of my head.  Unfortunately, in all my wandering and gawking, I kept forgetting my camera was in my pocket (Day 1 Pics).  Also, some major hotties in skimpies:

Overall, I've been very impressed.  Crowd control is amazing.  For as many people as there are, I've never seen such organization.  Oh, it's still packed in most places, but at least you're moving or can easily find a way around the masses, if you try (especially helpful when you're headed outside for a smokie break).

Since it took me a while to get aclimated, I didn't get to my first "Program" until 5:30p: New Trends in Computer Arts and Graphics.  Interesting panel on using digital tools for artistic purposes.  It wasn't anything I hadn't heard or figured out already, though.  Next, I headed across the lobby and down a couple of escalators for Drawing Anime 101.  Yes, this is mostly a sci-fi/fantasy and role-play con, but they still have an anime track, amazingly.  The odd part is that after asking a couple of questions, I realized who this KittyHawk was that I was probing and quizzing for drawing tips: the author/artist of the Sparking Generation Valkyrie Yukki webcomic.  LOL!  I haven't read that comic since she first started it years ago on Keenspace (which has changed names, apparently).  I about flipped out once she started bringing up panels from the comic.  I didn't get a chance to talk to her afterwards because I had to bolt out early for another presentation on "real vampires".  I wished I had stayed at the anime one till the end as the vampire presentation turned out to be just an enlightenment on the descriptions of blood suckers in older/ancient non-fiction literary texts (like the Bible).  Don't get me wrong, it was interesting, but after about half an hour I wasn't in the mood to analyze literature, so I left.  KittyHawk is doing a couple more tomorrow, so hopefully I can get a chance to talk to her then.  Anyway, I left the real world vampires talk, took a quick smoke break, and headed over to catch the tail end of the Dawn (old comic by Michael Linsner) look-alike contest.  What's the point of going to a con if you don't check out at least one costume contest?  So who's the guest of honor hosting the thing?  Anthony Danies (C3P0)!  He even used the classic line, "Well, I am versed in over 6 million forms of communication" after spouting some Japanese to one of the contestants themed as a Gaisha.  The crowd went nuts!

I've wanted to attend the Buffy Prom ever since I read about it's first apperance when I looked in to going a few years ago.  The Southeastern Browncoats (Firefly/Serenity fans) were hosting a Shindig at the same time.  Unfortunately, I wasn't really dressed for either, so I passed on them this year for the uncanny-ness of the GITS panel.  I might hit the Star Wars Cantina tomorrow evening if I can get my friend to hand around a little later (tagging along a 4yr-old apparently isn't easy).  I would have hung around for Cruxshadows performance at 1a, but the last MARTA train left at 1:20a, Cuervo needed to go out, and I was getting a bit hungry (even tho I did eat a lunch/dinner of sorts around 5).

So now that I have a schedule, I'm going to try to plan out tomorrow a little better so I'm not skittering around quite as aimlessly as today.  Besides, I think I'm going to the pool on Mon, instead, if there's not much going on (ends at 4p).  So, tomorrow's my big day.  Hopefully I'll remember to take more pictures....

 

l8rs.

Spiritual ponderings.

"It was all possible through the love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus."

That statement has tweaked me in some way or another since I was about 18.  I'm not trying to be an ass by saying that.  What started all this is I ended up in something of a spiritual discussion the other night.  Actually it was more of me listening to someone else's definition of their own religious beliefs and spirituality.  Either way, it left me in a sort of spiritual debate with myself and wondering, once again, where it is I actually stand on religion.

Being in the "Bible Belt of the South", I always tend to avoid the subject in conversations as it's nearly impossible to meet a person with an open mind about  another's stance on religion.  There is so much of the old Southern traditions of Sunday attendance and hellfire and brimstone.  Even just to keep from arguing with and feeling sorry for myself, I try not to think about it that often.  I don't really consider myself a religious person in the traditional sense, but I do know that I have some sort of spiritual morality.  I was raised in the United Methodist denomination of protestant Christianity.  As a teenager, I used to think that everything had to be done the way that God wanted it done.  I was very active in the church.  However, I never really felt comfortable in the actual church environment.  Most of my interaction was through the youth group and a summer organization called The Gathering Place.  I even attended a Chrysalis Walk and worked several after that.  I didn't pray a whole lot, nor was I very into reading the Bible outside of the few Bible studies I attended.

I've been at a sort of questioning point in my life since that life-altering car accident when I was 18.  I was broadsided late at night at a red light.  Later they told me that if the other car had struck me 1/4" closer, I would have been dead.  I was carted off to the ER since I was knocked silly, but I walked out of there an hour or so later unharmed, minus a pain in my side where the door handle jammed into my hip.  Thanks to that door handle, two weeks later, my spleen ruptured.  By the time I got back to the hospital (I'm stubborn about going and had never really experienced pain like that before), I had lost over 2 units of blood to internal bleeding.  I was in and out of a daze, so I now have an understanding of what dying is like.  You just begin to slip away.  Your vision becomes blurry, there's dizziness, then you start to loose conciousness.  I would say there's no pain, but that rupture left me with a cramp in my side like nothing I've never known.  I can only begin to compare it to menstrual cramps (based on how it's been described to me).  But, I don't experience those, so I dont' know.  Anyway, so near-death twice in a two week period.  You being to respect life and start to live it to the fullest.  You tend to worry less about the small things.  So why did this change the way I looked at religion?  No, I don't hate God for letting that happen to me; that's just stupid to even begin to think.  I'm still alive for a reason (one of these days, I'll figure out what that reason is).  The experiences made me realize that everything I had been taught up to that point about ritualistic deeds and trying to cram your beliefs down others' throats was pety and insignificant.

People ask me, "What religion are you?" or "Are you religious?"  Well, considering I really just can't get the whole denomination thing anymore (isn't Christiantiy sill Christianity no matter which church teaches it?), I'm not really any particualr religion.  I have my Christian roots, so most would guess "I'm Christian" would be my reply.  But, it's the "are you religious" question that really throws them for a loop.  Since I don't really consider myself "religious", that answer is more of a, "I'm more of a self-spiritualist."  I get some funny looks on that one.  ;)  "What, you think you're a god?"  I have to laugh at that reply because I can see the disgust in their faces.  No, you frikin moron; it means I don't want you preaching to me that if I don't admit or believe this or that, I'm going to Hell.  I'm a scicentist and mathematiton at heart.  I'm constantly seeking proof for things through those methods.  For this, some consider me athiest.  That's not true because I still believe there is some sort of omnipetence that ties everything together.  Whether that be God, Rah, Allah, or whatever name you want to give it is in the mouth of the believer.  In that sense, I'm described as an agnostic.  That's not entirely true, either.  Agnostic has such a funny definition.  Yes, I don't always just accept an answer, and I question things all the time.  I belive in Jesus; however, I tend to believe more in the stories of the deeds he did for people and the way he treated them.  Even without my Christian up-bringing, I've always tried to be a good person: help those in need when you can; be polite and courteous when possible; show compassion for others, etc.  Another thing I am a firm believer in is Karma.  "What goes around comes around."  The Golden Rule.  In that same sense, I also believe in the basic principles of yin and yang.  There cannot be good without evil.  Equality in all things and deeds.  There must be a balance.

"I feel closest to my spirituality when I'm around nature...."  "I want to think that I won't be turned from Heaven because I've slept with someone before I got married, or because I smoke....  I feel that the work I do to help others is far greater than those sins."  Or, something like that were some of the statements I got during our talk.  It's so wild to hear someone say things like I think.  As far as the whole Heaven and Hell thing, there is probably a difference in my opinions and what was intended in those statements; but, for the most part, I would consider us to have very similar spiritual stances.  We didn't have a very in depth conversation or debate, so I'm not really sure.  It was odd, though.  I'm still trying to figure out how the whole thing even got started.

This has been bugging me all day.  Hopefully, now that it's all written down, I'll be at peace... at least, until the next time I get in this funk of "Am I really a worthy person," again.  Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, so I need to get to bed.

 

l8rs.

Thunderstorms.

I love a good thunderstorm. Actually, I would be sleeping like a baby right now if Cuervo wasn't so scared of them. She's panting and shaking like a maniac. This is a good one. The sky is lit up like tons of exploding fireworks. I love it! ...Oh, damn.... I hope I rolled the windows up on the Jeep. Oh, well, I'm not walking out in this mess to figure out. :) Normally, I love standing in the rain. There's just something so relaxing about it. But, I do need to go to bed, and a cold shower is not one of the best stimulants for sleep. ;)

Ew.... dog drool. LOL.

Oh, well, looks like it's finally settling down. I was going sit down with my new issue of NewType USA, but looks like Cuervo is starting to relax a little, so I can probably head off to bed safely. Last thing I need is a 100 lb dog jumping into the waterbed with me. At least the power stayed on this time. Guess no moronic Atlanta drivers decied to park in a power poll this time. ;)

l8rs.

Wasted time.

I really should quit trying to maintain all my different internet personalities. All it ends up doing is wasting more and more of my time. I go days without doing anything, and next thing I know I've killed 5 hours trying to catch up. I see now why I quit spending so much time on the internet outside of work. I enjoy my physical and real social life. Admittedly, I revel in it more during the summer months, but that's besides the point.

So, what's the issue? The issue started yesterday. Obviously, my sleeping habits are horrible. So I show up to work "late" all the time. Which, in turn, I end up working late, usually, just so I don't have to pay to get out of the parking deck. So I'm a cheap-ass; big deal. :p~ Newayz, yesterday started off as one of those days. Mostly just becuase I was still tired from the move on Sat (told you I don't do much exercise). Well, instead of my usual evening gaming frenzy, I decide to call it an early evening. I grab the laptop and head to bed to drop a quick blog. Freakin 2am later, the laptop starts running out of power, so I plug it in. Next thing I know, it's 4:30. Great. There's no way I was going to stay awake for another 3 hours; to bed I go. Next I know it's 11:40. Crap! By the end of the day, I've spent most of it on the phone dealing with a sales rep for this new product we need to test. And then there's this other "issue".... grrrrr... I'm so sick of whiny n00bs! This getting pretty consistent about happening at least once every Fall Semester. So anyway, I'm DONE with work around 5, take a break, finally eat my "breakfast". I start cleaning up my music again, later, and while waiting start some laundry and continue surfing the web. 10:30. DAMN! I've killed another 5 hours! So, here I am, sitting in front of the TV, watching "Ah! My Goddess" and bitching here. Well, on the upside, I've only had 3 smokes, today. ;) Ok, between watching Belldandy and Erd getting Kaechi into all kinds of ridiculous situations and babbling here, I feel so much better.

So, as I finish up the final episode... nite!


l8rs.

Quite the charmer...

Heh, so I log into Yahoo! for the first time in a couple of weeks and this is sitting in one of my panels:

 Daily Horoscope:
  "You are in prime position to charm the pants off people. You can
  get your own way. You don't need good looks (though that won't
  hurt) all you need is your wonderful manner, the one which works
  every time."

HAH! Too funny! Guess it's too bad I don't take these things seriously or my ego would be seriously ballooned with a statement like that. ;)

On the flipside, it's been another one of those Mondays; one where you're just sitting at your desk all day wondering why you're even there. I've been without my coffee for the last two days, and let me tell you... it is taking it's toll. I was a slug all the way through lunch up until I finally went home around 8. Top that off with yesterday's rude re-awakening of muscles I had forgotten that exist. My butt cheeks still feel like I've been doing power-squats for a week. :) Guess that's my body telling me I really should start doing some sort of physical activity other than exercising my thumbs (synchronized game controller streches). Ah, well, it was all worth it to see the semi-smile on my friend's face after the relocation. I say semi since she wasn't feeling all that well. Stubborn-ass. I told her to go lay down; we had it taken care of. Ah, who am I kidding. I probably would have been the same way.

So, I will definately, now, be experiencing my first Con this weekend. This ought to be interesting. It'll, also, help to remind me that no matter how weird I think I am, there are always those that are oh so much weirder. ;) If you haven't figured it out, this weekend is the huge sci-fi DragonCon here in Atlanta. I've been wanting to go for several years, but that's just one experience I've never been too keen on doing alone. Luckily, an old friend from my early college years (who is a much more conditioned Con'er) has moved into the area. She even managed to score us some discounted tix. w00+! Hell, who knows. With all my "charming personality" going on, I may be able to woo me a weirdo. ;) Heheheh... Oh, I'm sure I'll have plenty to ramble on about after going, so be prepared for it either this weekend or next week!


l8rs.

Still hard to forget...

You know, even after 3 years, it's still hard to let go.

On my way home earlier, I was listening to the local Country station since all my CDs are out of the Jeep (reorganized my CDs - long story; don't feel like going into it). This song came on that I haven't heard before. Tear in your beer kinda thing, which I normally change the station for; yet, I continued to listen. I don't know who sings it or the title of it, but one of the lines goes something like "...when I hear your name, I think of rain." Woah. Those lines hit home.

My last ex and I ended very hatefully and ugly. Mostly all we did was argue the last 8 months of our relationship, plus there was a whole lot of other crappy things going on between us. I won't go into the details cause I don't like remembering them; so, lets just keep it as it did not end well, at all. The thing was, we only "officially" dated for maybe two years, but we spent a lot of time with each other before then. During the good times, I was coming to the realization that she could be the one. She was intelligent, strong willed, independant... she had a lot of the best qualities of what I hope the person to someday spend the rest of my life with should. We even talked about marriage several times. As time passed, we both grew wiser and older, and we changed. As relationships go, you should. Unfortunately, we refused to admit that those changes went in different directions. This is probably what eventually destroyed us, but there's no need to think about and linger on it, now.

As I was listening to the lyrics of this song at the stop light (damn lights take forever to change later at night), I couldn't help thinking that I still miss her and the good times we had. Don't get me wrong, even if the opportunity ever presented itself, I would never get back together with her. We both hurt each other so bad in the end, it's a little hard to forget (and forgive).

I've known since the day we finally seperated that life goes on. Yes, I was bitter; very bitter, in fact. But, should I still feel that way even after this long? Another quizzical (is "quizzical" even a word?) is why do these thoughts and feelings still linger in the back of my mind? They resurface ocassionaly, and I end up feeling lonely then pissed off. I keep telling myself I'm fine being alone. I can do the things I want and don't have to deal with the bitching from someone else about it being wrong or something I shouldn't be doing. Admittedly, if you are with the right one, that shouldn't be an issue. It just so hard dealing with this emotional turmoil... something I've never been good at. It's not that I want that someone around me that I can call "my girlfriend." I've got plenty of those (I have a tendancy of becoming "one of the girls" or the really good guy-friend - which I don't have a problem with and prefer in most cases). ;) Just occasionaly, I get lonely and want that loving touch of someone who honestly and deeply cares. Maybe it's just human nature, maybe it's society. I haven't figured that out, yet. They say, "There's someone out there for everyone." Maybe I'll meet that one, or maybe I already have; who knows. Honestly, I'm not all that worried about it, but why am I still bitter? Why do I still think about her? Why can't I just let go?

Assuredly, most everyone has been through this scenario or something similar at some point in their life. It may make sense. It may just sound like another bad break-up. Thinking of those who know me, who knew her, who knew the situtation... it just all seems so weird... scary, even.


Wow. This has to be a new record or something. 4 posts in the same week. :)


l8rs.

360 GamerCard!

Check it out...



My GamerCard is working now!

I'm really diggin Kameo. DOA4 is just another DOA with more jiggles and prettier graphics. I'm not quite sure what to think of Perfect Dark, yet. Haven't played it for very long. Did I mention that Kameo is really cool?

I'm such a phreak.... ;)

The 360 has turned out to be a worthwhile investment. The Dashboard interface is just schweet with all the different downloads and Live! Arcade. Guess this was their answer to Nintendo's Wii (Revolution) announcment at E3 last year that the entire Nintendo library would be available for download. Thing is, I might be looking into a hard drive upgrade here soon. I'm filling up 14G pretty freakin fast. I do have two complaints, however, and I probably should have researched it a little better before the purchase. Not like it would have changed my mind about buying one or anything. ;) The Xbox (original) emulator that's built in blows ass. I was barely 5 minutes into Halo 2 when the thing locked up faster and harder than Windows ME on a good day. The other issue is I need to figure out how to move my old game saves from the Xbox to the 360. Of course it won't take the old memory cards (go figure). I just haven't Googled a solution, yet.

On another note, I'm having some serious issues with IE and Myspace tonite. Trying to keep these blogs synced is a pain. Need to find an editor. Well, the issues might have something to do with the fact I'm trying to move all my music off the NAS (which isn't of the highest quality). Eh... oh well.


l8rs.

ramblings

Honestly, not a whole lot going on here these days. I'm helping a friend move. I forgot how much work is involved in packing since I've actually managed to stay put for longer than a year. :) Work is getting back to being hectic. I have to have 3 servers online before I go home tomorrow, and one of them has to be done before noon. Semester starts next week, so for the next month, life is just not fun anymore. I really need to quit spending money on things I don't need. I'm already broke for the month... I still have another 2 weeks and 3 more bills to pay.

Here's a little something that just popped into my head earlier this month in the wee hours of the AM. Just thought I'd share:

  Sultry summer humidity
  Cicadias chirping in the evening
  Cool salty breeze
  No longer the lifeguard to enjoy

  Sticky, muggy asphalt
  Flourescent air-conditioned offices
  Whirring beeping cluster arrays
  Forever the computer whiz

  Bright lights, big city
  Longing for the sound of the ocean
  Will I ever be able to return?
  Here I will not remain

I'm no poet, so don't ask me what iambic pentameter hiku format it follows, cause I have no idea. ;) I just thought it sounded cool. ;)

l8rs.