General Tso's Spicy Sesame Pork.

I am the stir fry master! I've discovered a new dish tonight. I loves me some stir fry, and tonight was the night. Take some of those really thin pork slices that Kroger sells (the ones you can't do anything with other than make sandwiches) and slice into strips. Drop in the wok with a little olive oil so not to burn 'em. Season with minced garlic, McCormick's Season Salt, sesame seeds, and a little soy sauce for taste (just don't ask me how much 'cause I never measure anything). Once cooked, glaze with Iron Chef brand General Tso's Glaze and Sauce. mmmmmm.... magnifique y delicioso! (<--- that's fre-spanglish for really frikin' good) See, I told you I've been on a food kick lately. ;) Actually, I like to cook. I'm not a master chef or anything (my presentation skills blow), but I don't think I'm that bad. It's just so hard to cook for one person (even tho I can eat enough for two people). That and I grew up where the cook never cleans. The cleanup afterwards is always the suckiest part.

Well, the 'rents will be here tomorrow to help move my sister this weekend. I'm heading down with them to unload and unpack. I'm making it a 5-day weekend; my last on the beach for the summer. They don't have high-speed internet, yet, so this'll probably be my last post until Tues or Wed of next week when I get back.

Oh, yeah... I'm getting my drafting table, so I should start more definitive work on "Ch33zip00fz!" soon. Yay! The dream is finally starting to become a reality. :D I finally got my game back on last night. Since going through my Xbox games for compatiblity, I came to the sad discovery that I can't transfer my old game saves from the Xbox to the 360. So, last night, I started over with Halo. Finished it up earlier before cooking dinner, so on to the next. I'll probably go through a round or two of DOA4 then start on Halo 2 since I won't be able to get any game time in this weekend. Off I go. :p~



l8rs.

It's official. I can't sleep like normal human beings.

I don't have a freakin clue what my issue is. I think I finally burnt myself out today. I went on 4 hours of sleep (which isn't all that unnatural) today. I started nodding off in front of a computer around 2p, and it was all I could do to keep from passing out on the train on the way home. So, I get home and just crash on the couch. This is around 7p. An hour later, I wake up, do what I need and head off to bed. I have to fight myself for about a half hour just to get to sleep. Then what happens? I wake up at 11:30p. Well, now I know there's no way I can even consider going to sleep before 4a. This blows. Why can't I sleep like everyone else? Not to mention I've been waking to funky dreams about people I haven't talked to in 10+ years thinking, "WTF was that all about!?" The only thing that's changed is I've started drinking more Sprite. Hmmm.... maybe I should lay off the lymon.... LOL.

Well, might as well make use of the time and pay bills or clean or *gasp* do work.



l8rs.

I think I'm pregnant.

You laugh, but I'm serious. I've been gorging myself like a starved little Ethiopian child. I normally eat by just snacking all day long. Now I'm eating 3 full meals (including breakfast which I usually skip) plus all my snacking. Hell, I've probably even gained a little weight (which would make my mom happy). Ah, well; the seasons are changing. My appetite usually is affected by it.

It's been an extremely long weekend. Between the concert on Friday and all the packing help yesterday, I'm exhausted. The concert on Friday. Oh, that was a foobar in itself. I go to Cowboys to fill my little desire for country line dancing. So, I'm on the phone with a friend trying to determine a movie to watch, and I get a text message saying I'm getting kidnapped to go to Cowboys. The band playing is the Zac Brown Band; not your typical country atmosphere band. The place was packed, but not a whole lot of line dancing going on. And the crowd was not the normal country-goers. I could actually count the number of ppl dancing on 2 hands. Don't get me wrong, the band was good, and I would have had a good time... in a different setting. Needless to say, I left after the first set. I think the majority of the regulars did as well. The band has taken a regular spot on Wed nights. It's sad to see a bar have to changes it's format to keep afloat. That's usually the only reason something like this happens, at least, from what I've seen in the past. I don't live there regularly, like my sister and some of her friends, but I do like to go for a change of pace every once and a while. It would be sad to see it go. There is another country bar. I've never been, but I've heard it's just not the same.

OK. That's out of the way, as is most of the packing. So, now, I need to pick up those tubs and pack up the junk that's here. Not to mention, the apartment is a wreck, and I need to do laundry something fierce. Geeze... I'm just never going to get any game time in. This is driving me insane! Today is my only day for the next two weeks. Next weekend, I move my sister. The following, I move my friend. I'm so ready to just sit down and do nothing for an entire weekend. Alright. I'm going to finish watching the village, make a few phone calls, then decide if I want to be productive or not. :) 3nj0i the rest of ur weekends.



l8rs.

post tomorrow... hopefully

I'm in the process of installing (for, like, the 5th time since yesterday) the Linux half of my new (well, month old, but it's still new to me) laptop. I'm installing and playing with some new blogging tools as well.

Since I just realized it's 3:30a, I'm going to bed. I've got some ranting to do about tonight. But I don't want to be up when the sun rises, so it'll have to wait. My sister got her new job, so I'm packing her up tomorrow. Then I'm off to help a friend pack up his collection of junk for storage later in the evening since he finally sold his house ("cottage in the boonies", as his fiance calls it). That means a new entry may not happen until sometime Sun. How is it, all of a sudden, I'm packing/moving almost everyone I know? Short of when my sister moved out last Feb, I haven't done any moving in the last two years (which is a feat in itself, since I'm the one usually moving every 8 months to a year). This'll be 3 ppl in the last month.

Bed... must go to bed or I'll be up all night.

l8rs.

Sad obsession.

So I'm sitting outside enjoying a clove and a glass of Cab while BS'ing with my sister and I realize... this is the first night I haven't worn sleeves or a sweatshirt in the last couple of evenings.  Of course it might have something to do with the 3/4 of a bottle I've finished since I got home from work.  That or the admittance that Fall is upon us with the light fading sooner, the dew falling heavier, and the cool evenings and mornings.  Soon, I will be loosing that extra hour I so cherish from Daylight Savings.  My summer is once again over.  The warm sunshine, humidity, and longer days are no more.  My krispiness from the trip to the pool the other day is the last of the season.  The heat can be unbearable at times, but I so long for warmer days.  I am not a soul of colder climates.  I prefer sandy beaches, sweaty afternoons, and salty hoppy beers.  Instead, I switch to wines of red and blush and layers of clothing with thicker socks. 

....This sucks!  ;)

Eh, maybe I'll be able to scrounge up enough funds to go skiiing this year.  If not, at least, maybe I'll be able to con a few friends into a camping trip in the early Fall as the leaves change and beautify the scenic tromp through the north Georgia mountains trails.  I was reading a post from Fred about the slow progress of change of nature compared to the standard disposable society we live in these days and realized how much being away from the city and in the calm relaxing openess of nowhere-land soothes my ever-spastic nature.  Admitedly, I can only take it in small doses; but, still, it is well welcomed.

On another note, this blogging thing has become an extremely sad obsession.  Since the Con, I feel like I have to post something almost every (if not every) day, now.  Also, I noticed I've had an exponentional increase in views to my blog in the last couple of days.  Do you ppl really give a $h!+ about what I have to rant about?  Wow... that's just scary.  I'm just another soul on this information highway of life; nothing all that important.  Well, if you honesly like, then 3nj0iZ!  :)  For some funky reason, I'm feeling sharing; which in itself is oxymoronic because I'm not an extremely open person.  I'm normally very private.  I can't quite figure out why dumping random thoughts to a keyboard seem to come so enigmaticaly or easily.  Whatever.

Yet another post that turned into a whole lot more philosophical meandering than I intended.  So, off to video game land I go (been jonesing the last couple of days).  Oh, BTW, I'm still psyched about getting Ch33zip00fz online.  That's an accomplishment in itself being 3 days and I haven't lost interest, yet.  ;)  I'm in the phase of figuring out how to procure the hardware to do what I need.  Admitedly, my doodling hasn't increased all that much, but still: I am psyched!  Ok, I'm really outtie this time.

 

l8rs.

Con Report - Day 2 (Part Deux)

Errrrggghhh.. I so hate Myspace sometimes.  You spend 30 minutes working on something, and dammit if it doesn't post.

Ooooo... this ought to be an interesting season.  Sorry, been watching Nip Tuck.  ;)

Ok, so back to the Con.  Sorry about not posting, yesterday.  I ended up not going after all.  I was out getting krispy by the pool.  I hurt now... Ouch.  Well, you've seen the few pictures I finally managed to post.  Sunday was, as I mentioned, more of a business conference kinda experience for me.  I got some really good info on getting Ch33zip00fz up and running from the Webcomics panel.  They were hilarious.  Kittyhawk kicked this page up on the projector which stopped one of the other guys in mid-introduction saying, "There are boobs on the screen, aren't there?  Well, I can't compete with that.  I give up."  Sad thing is, there were 6 artists on the panel, and all I can remember is Jennie and Kittyhawk.  I don't remember much of what I did after that, either.  Dude, what happended to my memory!?  I know I went to the bar, but I didn't drink that many Stellas.  ;)  Hehehe...  So, Sunday morning I sat in on the Buffy characters panel (Zander and Glory).  It was actually pretty funny.  Those two both have quite a realistic sense of humor.  However, the best was the Wash and River panel (Firefly/Serenity) that followed.  Alan Tudyk is a riot!  LOL!  The best question he was asked was, "Who's a better kisser, [the chick who plays Zoe (can't remember her name)], or Heath Ledger [from A Knight's Tale]?"  Oh the look on his face was classic!  Yah... everything else is just a blur till the Masquerade costume contest.  THAT was pretty freakin funny, but my friend and her relatives were saying it wasn't as good as last year.  I liked the Storm Trooper Janitors, tho.  They won most original, or something like that, but not over-all.

And, so, that wraps up the con report (as lame as it is).  I'll definately be going again next year.  However, I may be cosplaying.  I was informed that I would make a very good Gambit.... hmmm... not quite sure how to respond to that.  I don't know French (other than "merde") or Acadian; and, to top it off my Cajun accent sucks.  Well, looking forward to AWA in 2 weeks!  Hopefully, I'll have the cash to go.

 

l8rs.

Con Report - Day 2

I spent most of the day in and out of panels.  However, I'm exhausted and have smoked waaaay too much in the last couple of days.  I'll post more details tomorrow.  Besides, I need to get back on my semi-regular sleep schedule for work on Tues.  I forgot to take pictures... again... but, I've added the few I took to the Flickr set.

And for Linda: "I like cheeze!"

Oh, and plug for Sparking Generation Valkyrie Yukki.  Major props to Kittyhawk for her awesome help and information in the Drawing 101 and Webcomics panels yesterday and today.  I skipped Drawing 201; I needed a break.

 

l8rs.

Con Report - Day 1

I can now say I have attended my first anime fan boy moderated panel.  This was for the "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex" series of which I haven't see all of the episodes for, yet.  I love watching anime, but I leave it at just watching it.  Heh, I've always read about this, but it's true... fan boys are a mess.  I don't see how anyone can get so riled up about a cartoon... or movie or tv series for that matter.  Don't get me wrong, the debates in the panel were interesting.  I almost put my two cents worth in when they started arguing about the continuity and chance for error when it comes to digitial reproduction (it started by referring to an episode where "ghost" copying was performed).  I'm glad I stayed out of it, now.  It's not worth arguing with a fanatic that thinks they're right.  Especially, when I only have limited knowledge on the subject (even tho I work with one of the top DSP graduate departments in the nation).  The bonus for the panel was I got to watch a screener for the new movie coming out in November.  I almost smacked the moderator and one of the geeks sitting in front of me when they wouldn't shut up throughout the whole damn movie.  It was hard enough trying to concentrate since the thing was in Japanese with no subtitles.  Probably even the funniest of this event was the rather large crowd waiting on the movie to end so the henti (anime pr0n) could start.

As for the rest of the con, I finally got down there around 2p.  I slept in since I was up so late last night.  The first couple of hours were spent figuring out how to get around the 2 hr waiting line (if I hadn't found out that pre-registerees could skip the wait, I would have gone back home), wandering the dealer rooms (which I left quickly so I wouldn't start spending money on things I did NOT need), and getting my bearings of the all the different rooms across the 3 hotels.  I still haven't gone to anything in the Marriot, yet.  As with all cons, cosplayers are everywhere.  I saw comic book heroes, Storm Troopers, X-Wing Fighter Pilots, Jedis, Darth Vaders, Browncoats, Trekkies, a very well done Belle from Beauty and the Beast:

,a good deal of different Anime characters (suprisingly), tons of vampire and Goth-based leather, vinyl, and lace, and faries out the wazoo.  Even managed to finally get a picture of Master Chief:
There were several other game characters that I recognized as well, but I couldn't tell you which games they were from off the top of my head.  Unfortunately, in all my wandering and gawking, I kept forgetting my camera was in my pocket (Day 1 Pics).  Also, some major hotties in skimpies:

Overall, I've been very impressed.  Crowd control is amazing.  For as many people as there are, I've never seen such organization.  Oh, it's still packed in most places, but at least you're moving or can easily find a way around the masses, if you try (especially helpful when you're headed outside for a smokie break).

Since it took me a while to get aclimated, I didn't get to my first "Program" until 5:30p: New Trends in Computer Arts and Graphics.  Interesting panel on using digital tools for artistic purposes.  It wasn't anything I hadn't heard or figured out already, though.  Next, I headed across the lobby and down a couple of escalators for Drawing Anime 101.  Yes, this is mostly a sci-fi/fantasy and role-play con, but they still have an anime track, amazingly.  The odd part is that after asking a couple of questions, I realized who this KittyHawk was that I was probing and quizzing for drawing tips: the author/artist of the Sparking Generation Valkyrie Yukki webcomic.  LOL!  I haven't read that comic since she first started it years ago on Keenspace (which has changed names, apparently).  I about flipped out once she started bringing up panels from the comic.  I didn't get a chance to talk to her afterwards because I had to bolt out early for another presentation on "real vampires".  I wished I had stayed at the anime one till the end as the vampire presentation turned out to be just an enlightenment on the descriptions of blood suckers in older/ancient non-fiction literary texts (like the Bible).  Don't get me wrong, it was interesting, but after about half an hour I wasn't in the mood to analyze literature, so I left.  KittyHawk is doing a couple more tomorrow, so hopefully I can get a chance to talk to her then.  Anyway, I left the real world vampires talk, took a quick smoke break, and headed over to catch the tail end of the Dawn (old comic by Michael Linsner) look-alike contest.  What's the point of going to a con if you don't check out at least one costume contest?  So who's the guest of honor hosting the thing?  Anthony Danies (C3P0)!  He even used the classic line, "Well, I am versed in over 6 million forms of communication" after spouting some Japanese to one of the contestants themed as a Gaisha.  The crowd went nuts!

I've wanted to attend the Buffy Prom ever since I read about it's first apperance when I looked in to going a few years ago.  The Southeastern Browncoats (Firefly/Serenity fans) were hosting a Shindig at the same time.  Unfortunately, I wasn't really dressed for either, so I passed on them this year for the uncanny-ness of the GITS panel.  I might hit the Star Wars Cantina tomorrow evening if I can get my friend to hand around a little later (tagging along a 4yr-old apparently isn't easy).  I would have hung around for Cruxshadows performance at 1a, but the last MARTA train left at 1:20a, Cuervo needed to go out, and I was getting a bit hungry (even tho I did eat a lunch/dinner of sorts around 5).

So now that I have a schedule, I'm going to try to plan out tomorrow a little better so I'm not skittering around quite as aimlessly as today.  Besides, I think I'm going to the pool on Mon, instead, if there's not much going on (ends at 4p).  So, tomorrow's my big day.  Hopefully I'll remember to take more pictures....

 

l8rs.

Spiritual ponderings.

"It was all possible through the love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus."

That statement has tweaked me in some way or another since I was about 18.  I'm not trying to be an ass by saying that.  What started all this is I ended up in something of a spiritual discussion the other night.  Actually it was more of me listening to someone else's definition of their own religious beliefs and spirituality.  Either way, it left me in a sort of spiritual debate with myself and wondering, once again, where it is I actually stand on religion.

Being in the "Bible Belt of the South", I always tend to avoid the subject in conversations as it's nearly impossible to meet a person with an open mind about  another's stance on religion.  There is so much of the old Southern traditions of Sunday attendance and hellfire and brimstone.  Even just to keep from arguing with and feeling sorry for myself, I try not to think about it that often.  I don't really consider myself a religious person in the traditional sense, but I do know that I have some sort of spiritual morality.  I was raised in the United Methodist denomination of protestant Christianity.  As a teenager, I used to think that everything had to be done the way that God wanted it done.  I was very active in the church.  However, I never really felt comfortable in the actual church environment.  Most of my interaction was through the youth group and a summer organization called The Gathering Place.  I even attended a Chrysalis Walk and worked several after that.  I didn't pray a whole lot, nor was I very into reading the Bible outside of the few Bible studies I attended.

I've been at a sort of questioning point in my life since that life-altering car accident when I was 18.  I was broadsided late at night at a red light.  Later they told me that if the other car had struck me 1/4" closer, I would have been dead.  I was carted off to the ER since I was knocked silly, but I walked out of there an hour or so later unharmed, minus a pain in my side where the door handle jammed into my hip.  Thanks to that door handle, two weeks later, my spleen ruptured.  By the time I got back to the hospital (I'm stubborn about going and had never really experienced pain like that before), I had lost over 2 units of blood to internal bleeding.  I was in and out of a daze, so I now have an understanding of what dying is like.  You just begin to slip away.  Your vision becomes blurry, there's dizziness, then you start to loose conciousness.  I would say there's no pain, but that rupture left me with a cramp in my side like nothing I've never known.  I can only begin to compare it to menstrual cramps (based on how it's been described to me).  But, I don't experience those, so I dont' know.  Anyway, so near-death twice in a two week period.  You being to respect life and start to live it to the fullest.  You tend to worry less about the small things.  So why did this change the way I looked at religion?  No, I don't hate God for letting that happen to me; that's just stupid to even begin to think.  I'm still alive for a reason (one of these days, I'll figure out what that reason is).  The experiences made me realize that everything I had been taught up to that point about ritualistic deeds and trying to cram your beliefs down others' throats was pety and insignificant.

People ask me, "What religion are you?" or "Are you religious?"  Well, considering I really just can't get the whole denomination thing anymore (isn't Christiantiy sill Christianity no matter which church teaches it?), I'm not really any particualr religion.  I have my Christian roots, so most would guess "I'm Christian" would be my reply.  But, it's the "are you religious" question that really throws them for a loop.  Since I don't really consider myself "religious", that answer is more of a, "I'm more of a self-spiritualist."  I get some funny looks on that one.  ;)  "What, you think you're a god?"  I have to laugh at that reply because I can see the disgust in their faces.  No, you frikin moron; it means I don't want you preaching to me that if I don't admit or believe this or that, I'm going to Hell.  I'm a scicentist and mathematiton at heart.  I'm constantly seeking proof for things through those methods.  For this, some consider me athiest.  That's not true because I still believe there is some sort of omnipetence that ties everything together.  Whether that be God, Rah, Allah, or whatever name you want to give it is in the mouth of the believer.  In that sense, I'm described as an agnostic.  That's not entirely true, either.  Agnostic has such a funny definition.  Yes, I don't always just accept an answer, and I question things all the time.  I belive in Jesus; however, I tend to believe more in the stories of the deeds he did for people and the way he treated them.  Even without my Christian up-bringing, I've always tried to be a good person: help those in need when you can; be polite and courteous when possible; show compassion for others, etc.  Another thing I am a firm believer in is Karma.  "What goes around comes around."  The Golden Rule.  In that same sense, I also believe in the basic principles of yin and yang.  There cannot be good without evil.  Equality in all things and deeds.  There must be a balance.

"I feel closest to my spirituality when I'm around nature...."  "I want to think that I won't be turned from Heaven because I've slept with someone before I got married, or because I smoke....  I feel that the work I do to help others is far greater than those sins."  Or, something like that were some of the statements I got during our talk.  It's so wild to hear someone say things like I think.  As far as the whole Heaven and Hell thing, there is probably a difference in my opinions and what was intended in those statements; but, for the most part, I would consider us to have very similar spiritual stances.  We didn't have a very in depth conversation or debate, so I'm not really sure.  It was odd, though.  I'm still trying to figure out how the whole thing even got started.

This has been bugging me all day.  Hopefully, now that it's all written down, I'll be at peace... at least, until the next time I get in this funk of "Am I really a worthy person," again.  Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, so I need to get to bed.

 

l8rs.

Thunderstorms.

I love a good thunderstorm. Actually, I would be sleeping like a baby right now if Cuervo wasn't so scared of them. She's panting and shaking like a maniac. This is a good one. The sky is lit up like tons of exploding fireworks. I love it! ...Oh, damn.... I hope I rolled the windows up on the Jeep. Oh, well, I'm not walking out in this mess to figure out. :) Normally, I love standing in the rain. There's just something so relaxing about it. But, I do need to go to bed, and a cold shower is not one of the best stimulants for sleep. ;)

Ew.... dog drool. LOL.

Oh, well, looks like it's finally settling down. I was going sit down with my new issue of NewType USA, but looks like Cuervo is starting to relax a little, so I can probably head off to bed safely. Last thing I need is a 100 lb dog jumping into the waterbed with me. At least the power stayed on this time. Guess no moronic Atlanta drivers decied to park in a power poll this time. ;)

l8rs.

Wasted time.

I really should quit trying to maintain all my different internet personalities. All it ends up doing is wasting more and more of my time. I go days without doing anything, and next thing I know I've killed 5 hours trying to catch up. I see now why I quit spending so much time on the internet outside of work. I enjoy my physical and real social life. Admittedly, I revel in it more during the summer months, but that's besides the point.

So, what's the issue? The issue started yesterday. Obviously, my sleeping habits are horrible. So I show up to work "late" all the time. Which, in turn, I end up working late, usually, just so I don't have to pay to get out of the parking deck. So I'm a cheap-ass; big deal. :p~ Newayz, yesterday started off as one of those days. Mostly just becuase I was still tired from the move on Sat (told you I don't do much exercise). Well, instead of my usual evening gaming frenzy, I decide to call it an early evening. I grab the laptop and head to bed to drop a quick blog. Freakin 2am later, the laptop starts running out of power, so I plug it in. Next thing I know, it's 4:30. Great. There's no way I was going to stay awake for another 3 hours; to bed I go. Next I know it's 11:40. Crap! By the end of the day, I've spent most of it on the phone dealing with a sales rep for this new product we need to test. And then there's this other "issue".... grrrrr... I'm so sick of whiny n00bs! This getting pretty consistent about happening at least once every Fall Semester. So anyway, I'm DONE with work around 5, take a break, finally eat my "breakfast". I start cleaning up my music again, later, and while waiting start some laundry and continue surfing the web. 10:30. DAMN! I've killed another 5 hours! So, here I am, sitting in front of the TV, watching "Ah! My Goddess" and bitching here. Well, on the upside, I've only had 3 smokes, today. ;) Ok, between watching Belldandy and Erd getting Kaechi into all kinds of ridiculous situations and babbling here, I feel so much better.

So, as I finish up the final episode... nite!


l8rs.

Quite the charmer...

Heh, so I log into Yahoo! for the first time in a couple of weeks and this is sitting in one of my panels:

 Daily Horoscope:
  "You are in prime position to charm the pants off people. You can
  get your own way. You don't need good looks (though that won't
  hurt) all you need is your wonderful manner, the one which works
  every time."

HAH! Too funny! Guess it's too bad I don't take these things seriously or my ego would be seriously ballooned with a statement like that. ;)

On the flipside, it's been another one of those Mondays; one where you're just sitting at your desk all day wondering why you're even there. I've been without my coffee for the last two days, and let me tell you... it is taking it's toll. I was a slug all the way through lunch up until I finally went home around 8. Top that off with yesterday's rude re-awakening of muscles I had forgotten that exist. My butt cheeks still feel like I've been doing power-squats for a week. :) Guess that's my body telling me I really should start doing some sort of physical activity other than exercising my thumbs (synchronized game controller streches). Ah, well, it was all worth it to see the semi-smile on my friend's face after the relocation. I say semi since she wasn't feeling all that well. Stubborn-ass. I told her to go lay down; we had it taken care of. Ah, who am I kidding. I probably would have been the same way.

So, I will definately, now, be experiencing my first Con this weekend. This ought to be interesting. It'll, also, help to remind me that no matter how weird I think I am, there are always those that are oh so much weirder. ;) If you haven't figured it out, this weekend is the huge sci-fi DragonCon here in Atlanta. I've been wanting to go for several years, but that's just one experience I've never been too keen on doing alone. Luckily, an old friend from my early college years (who is a much more conditioned Con'er) has moved into the area. She even managed to score us some discounted tix. w00+! Hell, who knows. With all my "charming personality" going on, I may be able to woo me a weirdo. ;) Heheheh... Oh, I'm sure I'll have plenty to ramble on about after going, so be prepared for it either this weekend or next week!


l8rs.

Still hard to forget...

You know, even after 3 years, it's still hard to let go.

On my way home earlier, I was listening to the local Country station since all my CDs are out of the Jeep (reorganized my CDs - long story; don't feel like going into it). This song came on that I haven't heard before. Tear in your beer kinda thing, which I normally change the station for; yet, I continued to listen. I don't know who sings it or the title of it, but one of the lines goes something like "...when I hear your name, I think of rain." Woah. Those lines hit home.

My last ex and I ended very hatefully and ugly. Mostly all we did was argue the last 8 months of our relationship, plus there was a whole lot of other crappy things going on between us. I won't go into the details cause I don't like remembering them; so, lets just keep it as it did not end well, at all. The thing was, we only "officially" dated for maybe two years, but we spent a lot of time with each other before then. During the good times, I was coming to the realization that she could be the one. She was intelligent, strong willed, independant... she had a lot of the best qualities of what I hope the person to someday spend the rest of my life with should. We even talked about marriage several times. As time passed, we both grew wiser and older, and we changed. As relationships go, you should. Unfortunately, we refused to admit that those changes went in different directions. This is probably what eventually destroyed us, but there's no need to think about and linger on it, now.

As I was listening to the lyrics of this song at the stop light (damn lights take forever to change later at night), I couldn't help thinking that I still miss her and the good times we had. Don't get me wrong, even if the opportunity ever presented itself, I would never get back together with her. We both hurt each other so bad in the end, it's a little hard to forget (and forgive).

I've known since the day we finally seperated that life goes on. Yes, I was bitter; very bitter, in fact. But, should I still feel that way even after this long? Another quizzical (is "quizzical" even a word?) is why do these thoughts and feelings still linger in the back of my mind? They resurface ocassionaly, and I end up feeling lonely then pissed off. I keep telling myself I'm fine being alone. I can do the things I want and don't have to deal with the bitching from someone else about it being wrong or something I shouldn't be doing. Admittedly, if you are with the right one, that shouldn't be an issue. It just so hard dealing with this emotional turmoil... something I've never been good at. It's not that I want that someone around me that I can call "my girlfriend." I've got plenty of those (I have a tendancy of becoming "one of the girls" or the really good guy-friend - which I don't have a problem with and prefer in most cases). ;) Just occasionaly, I get lonely and want that loving touch of someone who honestly and deeply cares. Maybe it's just human nature, maybe it's society. I haven't figured that out, yet. They say, "There's someone out there for everyone." Maybe I'll meet that one, or maybe I already have; who knows. Honestly, I'm not all that worried about it, but why am I still bitter? Why do I still think about her? Why can't I just let go?

Assuredly, most everyone has been through this scenario or something similar at some point in their life. It may make sense. It may just sound like another bad break-up. Thinking of those who know me, who knew her, who knew the situtation... it just all seems so weird... scary, even.


Wow. This has to be a new record or something. 4 posts in the same week. :)


l8rs.

360 GamerCard!

Check it out...



My GamerCard is working now!

I'm really diggin Kameo. DOA4 is just another DOA with more jiggles and prettier graphics. I'm not quite sure what to think of Perfect Dark, yet. Haven't played it for very long. Did I mention that Kameo is really cool?

I'm such a phreak.... ;)

The 360 has turned out to be a worthwhile investment. The Dashboard interface is just schweet with all the different downloads and Live! Arcade. Guess this was their answer to Nintendo's Wii (Revolution) announcment at E3 last year that the entire Nintendo library would be available for download. Thing is, I might be looking into a hard drive upgrade here soon. I'm filling up 14G pretty freakin fast. I do have two complaints, however, and I probably should have researched it a little better before the purchase. Not like it would have changed my mind about buying one or anything. ;) The Xbox (original) emulator that's built in blows ass. I was barely 5 minutes into Halo 2 when the thing locked up faster and harder than Windows ME on a good day. The other issue is I need to figure out how to move my old game saves from the Xbox to the 360. Of course it won't take the old memory cards (go figure). I just haven't Googled a solution, yet.

On another note, I'm having some serious issues with IE and Myspace tonite. Trying to keep these blogs synced is a pain. Need to find an editor. Well, the issues might have something to do with the fact I'm trying to move all my music off the NAS (which isn't of the highest quality). Eh... oh well.


l8rs.

ramblings

Honestly, not a whole lot going on here these days. I'm helping a friend move. I forgot how much work is involved in packing since I've actually managed to stay put for longer than a year. :) Work is getting back to being hectic. I have to have 3 servers online before I go home tomorrow, and one of them has to be done before noon. Semester starts next week, so for the next month, life is just not fun anymore. I really need to quit spending money on things I don't need. I'm already broke for the month... I still have another 2 weeks and 3 more bills to pay.

Here's a little something that just popped into my head earlier this month in the wee hours of the AM. Just thought I'd share:

  Sultry summer humidity
  Cicadias chirping in the evening
  Cool salty breeze
  No longer the lifeguard to enjoy

  Sticky, muggy asphalt
  Flourescent air-conditioned offices
  Whirring beeping cluster arrays
  Forever the computer whiz

  Bright lights, big city
  Longing for the sound of the ocean
  Will I ever be able to return?
  Here I will not remain

I'm no poet, so don't ask me what iambic pentameter hiku format it follows, cause I have no idea. ;) I just thought it sounded cool. ;)

l8rs.

errrgh... idiota

I think I have finally come to admit I am officially blind. I try to get away with not having to wear my glasses as much as possible, but once the sun sets I usually end up trading my Oakley's for my "eyes". Tonight, however, I wasn't able to do that as freely as I normally am. I've had a hard time trying to see the computer screen, and I'm not even going to bother trying to watch TV. I can't frikin' see!

Scenario: There's a reason I tell people, "Clean out your pockets before you get in the Jeep." During the summer, the doors are off and the top is usually down. Hats can be lost and things can fall out quite easily. Normally, I'm wearing a pair of cargos, so I don't have to worry about loosing anything I value. Today was one of those days I wasn't outfitted correctly, however. After about 20 minutes of cruzin' back from the mall, I realize, "Oh, shit; where is my Balistics case?" Yup, it's somewhere out on the superhighway of traffic hell. I wasn't even about to turn around and go look for it. At least I had my shades on; I'd have been more pissed if those were lost instead. Now, due to my severe distrust of modern medicine (and the fact that I hardly ever get sick), I tend to avoid doctor's offices and the likes. After I get home, I'm tearing the apartment apart looking for my last CLRX prescription. I'm thinking, ok, I can order some comtacts from 1-800 Contacts, schweet. Been meaning to do that for years anyway. I finally found it, but it's dated 2002 with an expiration of 1 year. Great. Well, the order went through (damn next day shipping cost just as much as the contacts themselves), but they have to verify with "your doctor" before shipping. Well, hopefully, it'll work, and I won't have to try to find an optomologist that supports my insurance AND can accept an appointment, like, immediately.

So why was I insane enough to go to the mall on Tax-Free weekend to begin with? Yeah; I thought it would be a good idea to go get some new shirts for work because of all the sales. I got the shirts. Even found a pair of jeans (which is extremely rare). Oh, well. This just goes to prove I really don't belong at the mall. Actually, the only thing I like about malls is people watching. Go sit in the food court sometime and just observe/evesdrop. You'll laugh your ass off for hours.

On a good note (sorta), I finally put a 360 on order. My projector has started having fits again and rather than try messing with it, I ordered a new one. Of course all this was possible only because I got approved for a Best Buy card. :) At least I know now that my credit is not as foobarred as I thought. Of course, I'll be paying for it for the next year(+) but, we have to have our toys, right? And besides, IT's AN XBOX 360!! LOL. Just have to wait 2 weeks for everything to come in. Yes, I did say I was going to wait, but I also found out Gears of War and Halo 3 are scheduled for relase in mid-November. A day apart, actually. There goes my social life till Christmas. ;)

Well, it's another one of those late niters, so I better get off to bed if I want to get into work at a decent hour tomorrow (today).

l8rs.

video game luvin'

I think I have finally figured out what has fueled my love of video games so much in the last few years.

I have a monthly video game rental pass with Blockbuster. I know, I know. "Real gamers use Gamefly." Whatever; Blockbuster's right around the corner. That's not what this post is about, anyway. Since February, I've rented maybe 3 games, and put in a total of about 10 hours of game time. 10 hours?! Hell, I normally do that on a Saturday, alone. The bulb in my projector, finally bit the dust sometime in January after I got back from my vacation to the Keys. I can't complain too much. It did last the better part of 3 years of constant use. In case you don't know, projector bulbs don't come cheap, and they're not universal. I've been temporarily reduced to 17" flat panel monitor that I had lying around. Needless to say, movies, tv, and gaming just isn't the same. I've been watching more stuff on the 19" on my computer in my room.

Thanks to the gratuitous reimbursement from the IRS, my birthday present to myself was originally going to be a 360; but, given the list of titles, I decided to wait. Next, it was going to be a new projector; one that supports HD. Ooohh, the dream of XBox in HD with 5.1 audio.... mmmmm. Gives me mahogany just thinking about it. ;) Well, my laziness of not keeping up regular maintenance on the Jeep left me having to replace the radiator last month. So, 2 weeks, ~$450, a couple sets of greasy clothes (they needed to be tossed from the wardrobe anyway), and the entire cooling system (minus the heater core) later, I just ended up paying extra on some outstanding bills. I figured I had enough in savings I could wait a couple more months on the projector.

I've been jonesing pretty bad lately to get back into the gaming action, so I finally played Shadow of the Colossus for the PS2 (which I rented almost 2 weeks ago). After about 15 minutes of squinting and griping about not being able to really visualize the intricate detail put into the environment, I've decided to pull what I already have saved and just get a new bulb. The new projector will just have to wait until Christmas.... I really want to try to finish the dotHack series before then. I completed game 3 last November and have been constantly thinking about game 4 for at least 2 months, now. Worst case scenario, I've had a couple of friends ask me about buying the projector when I get the new one. I was just going to give it to them, since there was no cost when I acquired it, but maybe I can make a little bank back on the bulb cost and use it to buy a ceiling mount for the new one (or maybe that 5.1 receiver I've been trying to talk my friend out of for several months, now). :)

l8rs.

Peyton's Podcast

Now I don't know if I've made it apparent here or not, but my sister's got me watching One Tree Hill ...along with The O.C. and a few other shows, but we won't go there.... ;) For those of you out there who watch the show, I'm sure you know about Peyton and her Podcasts she does in relevance with each episode. "She" started shortly after this season began.

OK... so what's my point? I finally acquired an iPod Shuffle. I used to use iTunes a few years ago, when it first came out, but I never cared much for the way it organized the files (call me anal). Hence, I went back to using *gasp* Windows Media Player. This was all, of course, before I started using Linux. In that sense, I still haven't really found a media player that does everything of what I want, yet. Like I said, call me anal... and picky. ;)

NEWAYZ.... I downloaded the Podcasts this week and started listening to them on the train in to work. Interesting little addition to the already twisted plot of the show. What I find the funniest is if you listen closely, there's this "theme" of dealing with depression and emotional hard times. Then, at the end, she offers encouragement saying it's worth going on... or something like that. I never really had it all that hard in high school... or at least, I never felt like I had any reason to be depressed. No, I wasn't one of those snobby rich kids, nor was I a bitter pill that never cared much for anyone. I never really fit into a descriptive "click", which seem to have existed more predominatly back then than they do in today's pre-collegiate (<-- is that even a word?) education. Yah, well, I don't have kids, and I haven't been around a whole lot of non-college students in a while. So, I'm probably wrong in that assumption.

Well... whatever. I just like listening to them. ...The Podcasts, that is. :) Peyton's quite the music lover, so she's brought up a few band names in her rants. Gives me something new to listen to for a while.

Geeze, I work in the technology field; you'd think I'd have already jumped on the Podcast bandwagon by now. Hell, I was even late in getting into this blogging thing. Am I loosing my touch with modernization?

...

LOL!

...

Hrmph... yeah, so newayz, check 'em out the next time you're poking through the iTunes Music Store for something to listen to. Or, if you don't have iTunes, download 'em from here:
http://peytonspodcast1.blogspot.com
Worst case senario, you've wasted 5 minutes listening to an "episode" of One Tree Hill.


l8rs.

Interesting Read

The web is a wild beast. Searching for a music manager application for my desktop (I run Fedora, btw), I ran across this blog:
Lifehacker Blog
and the article it references:
"Top 10 Advantages of ADD in a High Tech Career"

I've always made it a running joke that I have AADD even though I'll never go see a shrink. My theory is: "I know I'm screwed up. I don't need to pay someone to tell me that." ;) Even so, this was quite an interesting article consider I work in the IT field. I feel like I've found a home, of sorts, there. Even in the last 7+ years, I haven't lost interest in what I'm doing.

Reading over what the good Dr. Quily states:

"Top Ten ADD Advantages in a Hi Tech Career.

1. The Ability to Hyperfocus.
2. Rapid Fire Mind.
3. Multitasking at Will.
4. High Energy Level.
5. Highly Creative.
6. Quick Learner.
7. Stimulus Seeking Brain.
8. Constantly Scanning your Environment.
9. Great in a Crisis.
10. Risk Taker."

most of these fit my personality.

Ok, so that makes this article a little scary. Am I really AADD? LOL! Eh... who cares, right? :)

Newayz, just a little randomness on reality. BTW, it is butt ass cold here. Even got snow flurries this afternoon. Snow? Here? Come on; I live in the South. It's not supposed to be this cold.

So... yeah....
W00t! Margaritas for everyone! ...heh ;)

l8rs.

Cheezypoofs luvin!

YAY! I finally posted some drawings! Go check em out:
http://www.myspace.com/foundprophet
Follow the "View more pics" link under the main picture.

Also, I'm such a game phreak and geek:



l8rs.